Pittstop Works' staffers are not in the office
We've done a legger back to sunny Ireland for the Christmas and will not be posting anything until sometime in the New Year and you shouldn't be on the computer and wasting your time on the bleeding internet anyway.
It's Christmas. Go put on your woolly jumper, read a book, watch Raiders of the Lost Ark, ET, A Wonderful Life, etc, and drink, eat and be merry, fall asleep on the couch.
Have a good one.
Friday, December 21, 2007
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
Stop the traffic
Q-- How do you stop the tiny-wee-three-foot-above-sea-level people on the streets with no helmets?
A-- With a tiny wee stop sign of course.
Q-- How do you stop the tiny-wee-three-foot-above-sea-level people on the streets with no helmets?
A-- With a tiny wee stop sign of course.
Owl and the Sparrow
The film Owl and the Sparrow, directed by a Viet Kieu fellow called Stephen Gauger and set as well as shot in Saigon, has been in the press a bit here of late but it's been picking up awards around the world for the last year. Might be worth a look if you can find it -- wherever you are dear reader on foreign shores. Will be hitting the cinemas in Vietnam early next year.
The film Owl and the Sparrow, directed by a Viet Kieu fellow called Stephen Gauger and set as well as shot in Saigon, has been in the press a bit here of late but it's been picking up awards around the world for the last year. Might be worth a look if you can find it -- wherever you are dear reader on foreign shores. Will be hitting the cinemas in Vietnam early next year.
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
Tom Waits for Christmas No.1 in Ireland
Nothing to do with Hanoi, Vietnam whatsoever: Could 'Christmas card from a hooker in Minneapolis' by Tom Waits be number one for Christmas back in sunny Ireland?
This guy hopes so because he wants to stick it to the man -- Louis Walsh, Westlife, daytime radio, etc -- and I urge my three Dublin based readers to support this ever-so naughty campaign.
"The song will need to be purchased online before the 20th of December in order to do this"... "anywhere IRMA use the stats for the charts..."
Nothing to do with Hanoi, Vietnam whatsoever: Could 'Christmas card from a hooker in Minneapolis' by Tom Waits be number one for Christmas back in sunny Ireland?
This guy hopes so because he wants to stick it to the man -- Louis Walsh, Westlife, daytime radio, etc -- and I urge my three Dublin based readers to support this ever-so naughty campaign.
"The song will need to be purchased online before the 20th of December in order to do this"... "anywhere IRMA use the stats for the charts..."
The SEA Games -- a striking pattern
The 2001 games Held in Malaysia...
.... the 2003 games held in Vietnam
...the 2005 games held in Philippines
...and most recently in Thailand
The wonders of home advantage eh? The next games are in Laos so this pattern might come to an end unless snoozing, taking it easy, tubing down the Mekong and other such activities can become recognised sports. However... I did note that if the laid back Laoatians fail to get their act together the games will be moved to Singapore.
The 2001 games Held in Malaysia...
| Position | Country | Gold | Silver | Bronze | Total |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 |  Malaysia | 111 | 75 | 85 | 271 |
| 2 |  Thailand | 103 | 86 | 89 | 278 |
| 3 |  Indonesia | 72 | 74 | 80 | 226 |
| 4 |  Vietnam | 33 | 35 | 64 | 132 |
| 5 |  Philippines | 30 | 66 | 67 | 163 |
| Vietnam | 158 | 97 | 91 | 346 | |
| 2 | Thailand | 90 | 93 | 98 | 281 |
| 3 | Indonesia | 55 | 68 | 98 | 221 |
| 4 | Philippines | 48 | 54 | 75 | 177 |
| 5 | Malaysia | 44 | 42 | 59 | 145 |
| 1 | Philippines | 113 | 84 | 94 | 291 |
| 2 | Thailand | 87 | 78 | 118 | 283 |
| 3 | Vietnam | 71 | 68 | 89 | 228 |
| 4 | Malaysia | 61 | 49 | 65 | 175 |
| 5 | Indonesia | 49 | 79 | 89 | 217 |
| Thailand | 183 | 123 | 103 | 409 | 150[2] | |
| 2 | Malaysia | 68 | 52 | 96 | 216 | 64[3] |
| 3 | Vietnam | 64 | 58 | 82 | 204 | 60-65[4] |
| 4 | Indonesia | 56 | 64 | 83 | 203 | 65[5] |
| 5 |  Singapore | 43 | 43 | 41 | 127 | 35-4 |
Monday, December 17, 2007
Consumers demand instructions
Irritated by suggestions on this very blog that they don't understand the concept of a helmet, people who've been whizzing around devil-may-care without their helmet-strapped on properly have pointed the finger at manufacturers, who have failed to supply instructions.
Deadly serious though, this article from those sterling people at Vietnamnet does actually provide instructions -- as you see below. Next week -- buckling up!
Helmets are already getting a bad rap from people tired of carrying them around everywhere as if you leave one on your bike, these days, now that you need to wear one, it'll be promptly thieved.
One answer is the helmet-padlock -- but can Ong Viet Tiep (Mr Padlock of Vietnam) manage to get 22 million padlocks to meet demand!? The website says they can only produce 10 million products a year. Get the lead out lads!
In the same video you'll also see Hanoi's latest street side business -- helmet-minders.
Life, eh?
Irritated by suggestions on this very blog that they don't understand the concept of a helmet, people who've been whizzing around devil-may-care without their helmet-strapped on properly have pointed the finger at manufacturers, who have failed to supply instructions.
Deadly serious though, this article from those sterling people at Vietnamnet does actually provide instructions -- as you see below. Next week -- buckling up!
Helmets are already getting a bad rap from people tired of carrying them around everywhere as if you leave one on your bike, these days, now that you need to wear one, it'll be promptly thieved.
One answer is the helmet-padlock -- but can Ong Viet Tiep (Mr Padlock of Vietnam) manage to get 22 million padlocks to meet demand!? The website says they can only produce 10 million products a year. Get the lead out lads!
In the same video you'll also see Hanoi's latest street side business -- helmet-minders.
Life, eh?
Helmets on heads but...
A marvelous photo essay on Vietnamnet today, which gives you a good idea of why incidents of brain trauma won't be going down quite as much as expected/ hoped with introduction of the wear-a-helmet-or-else-law. The guy with his helmet on backwards is a winner, as well as the one with his mobile tucked into the side -- bravo! -- and the one with the strap on over the top of his helmet, as opposed to under his chin... well, what can we say, too cool for school, boys.
There's a fair bit of back slapping going on over the success of the new law: Compliance marks first day of helmet law says the Thanh Nien, with an estimated 90 per cent of the population at large wearing helmets, (99 per cent in Hanoi apparently -- ngoan the!).
But... as you'll see in the photo essay, quite a few of these compliant folk are not quite getting the concept behind the whole grand scheme. (How to wear a helmet workshops?)
You know what they say, if common sense was common, there'd be more of it around.
A marvelous photo essay on Vietnamnet today, which gives you a good idea of why incidents of brain trauma won't be going down quite as much as expected/ hoped with introduction of the wear-a-helmet-or-else-law. The guy with his helmet on backwards is a winner, as well as the one with his mobile tucked into the side -- bravo! -- and the one with the strap on over the top of his helmet, as opposed to under his chin... well, what can we say, too cool for school, boys.
There's a fair bit of back slapping going on over the success of the new law: Compliance marks first day of helmet law says the Thanh Nien, with an estimated 90 per cent of the population at large wearing helmets, (99 per cent in Hanoi apparently -- ngoan the!).
But... as you'll see in the photo essay, quite a few of these compliant folk are not quite getting the concept behind the whole grand scheme. (How to wear a helmet workshops?)
You know what they say, if common sense was common, there'd be more of it around.
Off road driving
Sometimes in the morning you can get an instant almost instinctive sense of the madness on the roads. You just know something is going to happen. You spot subtle telltale signs such as the taxi driver on Xuan Dieu road this morning trying to overtake seven cars by slaloming in and out of the cars one by one while flashing his lights, tooting his horn and generally looking like an almighty accident about to happen, but one doesn't. He gets to his destination – to pick up a customer and then starts to drive slowly and carefully down Yen Phu road, perhaps making pleasant chit chat with his fare. "Traffic is awful today, isn't it?", "Oh yes, so many crazy drivers on the roads these days...", "All trees and bicycles when I was a young girl.", "Oh yes, if it weren't for the tigers we would have been sleeping out in the woods."
Then a little bit further down Nghi Tam road you see the road is jammed and you slip down the gutter-road below and spot this.
It's one of those just-as-terrifying-as-it-is-funny moments. And there's a touch of the giant turnip about it. All these guys were ready to put their bodies on the line and push as the driver tried to reverse the car back up, I think. I didn't stick around. I think they should just leave it there, to slowly rust and rot, and one day, years from now, it will be a wee-moss-covered hillock and young dandies will loll on top making daisy-chains, penning sonnets and blowing kisses to the ladies flowing past on electric-powered-unicycles.
Sometimes in the morning you can get an instant almost instinctive sense of the madness on the roads. You just know something is going to happen. You spot subtle telltale signs such as the taxi driver on Xuan Dieu road this morning trying to overtake seven cars by slaloming in and out of the cars one by one while flashing his lights, tooting his horn and generally looking like an almighty accident about to happen, but one doesn't. He gets to his destination – to pick up a customer and then starts to drive slowly and carefully down Yen Phu road, perhaps making pleasant chit chat with his fare. "Traffic is awful today, isn't it?", "Oh yes, so many crazy drivers on the roads these days...", "All trees and bicycles when I was a young girl.", "Oh yes, if it weren't for the tigers we would have been sleeping out in the woods."
Then a little bit further down Nghi Tam road you see the road is jammed and you slip down the gutter-road below and spot this.
It's one of those just-as-terrifying-as-it-is-funny moments. And there's a touch of the giant turnip about it. All these guys were ready to put their bodies on the line and push as the driver tried to reverse the car back up, I think. I didn't stick around. I think they should just leave it there, to slowly rust and rot, and one day, years from now, it will be a wee-moss-covered hillock and young dandies will loll on top making daisy-chains, penning sonnets and blowing kisses to the ladies flowing past on electric-powered-unicycles.
Mind your 'Ps' and 'Qs' and the odd 'n'
Well, a small business cocking up their English spelling is more forgivable than say a national carrier getting the grammar wrong on several million cardboard boxes served to every English speaking customer on short hops from Hanoi or HCM City to Danang or Nha Trang, etc.
This shop just opened up on the top of Dang Thai Mai, beside this bia hoi joint.
Can't really say anything to that can you. Recently built, it has yet to open. In a country with a few thousand menus advertising 'fried crap' and so on, not a big surprise, but if you're going for high-end, as they are in this case, it's a rather calamitous error.
(How's my spelling and grammar there? I realise I'm not necessarily one to be on the high horse in that regard)
Well, a small business cocking up their English spelling is more forgivable than say a national carrier getting the grammar wrong on several million cardboard boxes served to every English speaking customer on short hops from Hanoi or HCM City to Danang or Nha Trang, etc.
This shop just opened up on the top of Dang Thai Mai, beside this bia hoi joint.
Can't really say anything to that can you. Recently built, it has yet to open. In a country with a few thousand menus advertising 'fried crap' and so on, not a big surprise, but if you're going for high-end, as they are in this case, it's a rather calamitous error.
(How's my spelling and grammar there? I realise I'm not necessarily one to be on the high horse in that regard)
Thursday, December 13, 2007
Hit and Runs -- that's plural
Oh lord, all these new cars and people learning as they go makes me very nervous. Last week local newspapers reported a series of hit and runs – that’s plural – all by the same car. A black Porsche Cayenne SUV knocked a bunch of motorbikes over while driving over Thanh Nien Road in Hanoi, injuring two people seriously – the billion-dong car only stopped when one of its tires went flat. There were two people inside – a 25-year-old woman and a 35-year-old man – and when the police caught up with them and hauled them down the station both of them pointed the finger at each other and said “He/ she was driving!” Apparently both were behind the wheel at different stages. The woman has no driving license and she said she was suffering from low blood pressure which is why she couldn’t control the car (nothing to do with the fact she couldn’t drive).
Here's a video of the trail of destruction left behind.
Oh lord, all these new cars and people learning as they go makes me very nervous. Last week local newspapers reported a series of hit and runs – that’s plural – all by the same car. A black Porsche Cayenne SUV knocked a bunch of motorbikes over while driving over Thanh Nien Road in Hanoi, injuring two people seriously – the billion-dong car only stopped when one of its tires went flat. There were two people inside – a 25-year-old woman and a 35-year-old man – and when the police caught up with them and hauled them down the station both of them pointed the finger at each other and said “He/ she was driving!” Apparently both were behind the wheel at different stages. The woman has no driving license and she said she was suffering from low blood pressure which is why she couldn’t control the car (nothing to do with the fact she couldn’t drive).
Here's a video of the trail of destruction left behind.
Weird futuristic helmets
This is it, the last days before December 15th, the day helmets become compulsory for EVERYONE! The police will be out en masse ready to take down you helmet-less mavericks.
Though let's see what happens. Everyone is buying one, though plenty of people aren't actually wearing them yet, stubbornly waiting for the deadline day, enjoying those last days of the wind-blowing-through-your-hair-freedom and the way she might look at you at the traffic lights...
This xe om driver told AFP why he has bought two helmets but is enjoying his last days blowing around with the lid off: "When everybody starts to wear rice cookers on their heads, we will look like we all come from another planet. We'll look like we're living in the 25th century."
Say what?
This is it, the last days before December 15th, the day helmets become compulsory for EVERYONE! The police will be out en masse ready to take down you helmet-less mavericks.
Though let's see what happens. Everyone is buying one, though plenty of people aren't actually wearing them yet, stubbornly waiting for the deadline day, enjoying those last days of the wind-blowing-through-your-hair-freedom and the way she might look at you at the traffic lights...
This xe om driver told AFP why he has bought two helmets but is enjoying his last days blowing around with the lid off: "When everybody starts to wear rice cookers on their heads, we will look like we all come from another planet. We'll look like we're living in the 25th century."
Say what?
See also this recent Time article -- Fashion police vs. Traffic Police
Scorpions on a plane
A passenger airliner in Vietnam was halted on the runway in Danang yesterday when scorpions were found loose in the cabin -- "I am sick and tired of these mudderfuggin' scorpions on this mudderfuggin plane," someone should have said.
A sequel for Samuel Jackson and the boys?
A passenger airliner in Vietnam was halted on the runway in Danang yesterday when scorpions were found loose in the cabin -- "I am sick and tired of these mudderfuggin' scorpions on this mudderfuggin plane," someone should have said.
A sequel for Samuel Jackson and the boys?
Vietnam football team flops, Coach Reidl resigns, will the betrayed fan want his kidney back?
When I clicked on Alfred Riedl's homepage this morning it appeared I was the first ever visitor. At least the counter was set at zero. It felt like an honour...
...and honour is what the Vietnam Football Federation wanted him to resign with -- after Vietnam flopped at the SEA games and grown men wept-- pleading with him to leave voluntarily so they didn't have to sack him (and shell out more dollars).
But he wasn't going easy -- claiming he wasn't to blame, entirely, and that's fair enough, as he certainly didn't take one of the penalties in the shoot out against the might of Myanmar and Vietnam missed three out of four. Anyway, eventually he settled for a pay out of less than 100 % and more than what the VFF first suggested and life goes on.
That was the third stint for Riedl as coach of the national team since 1998. He was hailed a hero after the 2007 Asia Cup when Vietnam reached the quarter finals and -- feel the love! -- when he required a new kidney earlier in the year more than 70 football fans offered to donate the vital organ to him! One was chosen and Riedl made a full recovery.
"I asked them why they wanted to do this, and they said: 'You did something good for us, and now we help you,'" Riedl later told reporters.
Can this 'kidney for a favour philosophy' be reversed and if so, will the irate fan now demand his kidney back? Worrying times indeed for the Austrian coach.
Anyway, we here at Pittstop Works salute the man who once answered the Timeout reporter's question 'if the goal posts were widened in football would there be more shots off the post?' with a cold and reasoned 'no'.
How can you fault this blunt, pragmatic, logic?
Your best Wee-Men Football XI on a postcard.
When I clicked on Alfred Riedl's homepage this morning it appeared I was the first ever visitor. At least the counter was set at zero. It felt like an honour...
...and honour is what the Vietnam Football Federation wanted him to resign with -- after Vietnam flopped at the SEA games and grown men wept-- pleading with him to leave voluntarily so they didn't have to sack him (and shell out more dollars).
But he wasn't going easy -- claiming he wasn't to blame, entirely, and that's fair enough, as he certainly didn't take one of the penalties in the shoot out against the might of Myanmar and Vietnam missed three out of four. Anyway, eventually he settled for a pay out of less than 100 % and more than what the VFF first suggested and life goes on.
That was the third stint for Riedl as coach of the national team since 1998. He was hailed a hero after the 2007 Asia Cup when Vietnam reached the quarter finals and -- feel the love! -- when he required a new kidney earlier in the year more than 70 football fans offered to donate the vital organ to him! One was chosen and Riedl made a full recovery.
"I asked them why they wanted to do this, and they said: 'You did something good for us, and now we help you,'" Riedl later told reporters.
Can this 'kidney for a favour philosophy' be reversed and if so, will the irate fan now demand his kidney back? Worrying times indeed for the Austrian coach.
Anyway, we here at Pittstop Works salute the man who once answered the Timeout reporter's question 'if the goal posts were widened in football would there be more shots off the post?' with a cold and reasoned 'no'.
How can you fault this blunt, pragmatic, logic?
When asked in July if his side could ever be a major force in Asia he said, simply, no.
"We can do something in the Southeast Asian region and sometimes in the Asian region but generally we can't have success because we are too small," he said. "You saw this, their players are 1.85m (Iraqis) and ours are 1.70m-something."
A team of wee men -- you know like Maradona, Carlos Tevez... em, Terry Phelan ...Your best Wee-Men Football XI on a postcard.
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Named and shamed
These two poor French backpackers travelling in Thailand not only got mugged and robbed by a pack of thieving trannies in Bangkok after agreeing to a bit of horseplay back in their hotel room but the Nation went to the trouble of publishing their names for added embarrassment.
"Oh merde," I imagine one of them might have said to the other this morning.
These two poor French backpackers travelling in Thailand not only got mugged and robbed by a pack of thieving trannies in Bangkok after agreeing to a bit of horseplay back in their hotel room but the Nation went to the trouble of publishing their names for added embarrassment.
"Oh merde," I imagine one of them might have said to the other this morning.
STOP THE PRESS!
The CAMA party this Saturday has been forced to change locations -- the party will be held at same venue where CAMA threw their last MONSTER party with Stylish Nonsense et al.
For those who weren't there... S'il Vous plait.
The CAMA team asked us to tell you to tell your friends and your friends' friends about the change in venue.
The CAMA party this Saturday has been forced to change locations -- the party will be held at same venue where CAMA threw their last MONSTER party with Stylish Nonsense et al.
For those who weren't there... S'il Vous plait.
The CAMA team asked us to tell you to tell your friends and your friends' friends about the change in venue.
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
* Did I mention Minsk FC beat runaway league leaders Bac A Bank with a late winner the other day? A day for the underdogs indeed.
Never seen such handsome underdogs in all my years as a taxi driver.
Never seen such handsome underdogs in all my years as a taxi driver.
Christmas cheer
* The great bout of diarrhea is over. Get back to eating your vegetables.
* Why you should support the highly successful but under supported Vietnamese women's football team and not the men's team at the SEA games.
* Don't forget Saturday is for dancing and CAMA have organised you and your friends a party. Come early and don't drive if you're on the lash.
* I discovered Vietnam News' golf column today and I'll be looking out for it in future. Here's his classy opening gambit -- "Brown greens [in winter] are not something that I enjoy, but I do enjoy ladies dressed to the nines in their winter clothes though, so there is a nice balance. There’s something about a good looking lady in high leather boots which I have always enjoyed..."
He gets back to talking about golf at some stage, but before that he also talks about the Horison Hotel's Christmas decorations which have pictures of an "elf with an axe, [...] smoking a crack pipe, [...] drinking beer and..." his favourite ..."one with his pants down and what appears to be his "Shmeckel" (that’s Yiddish, look it up for yourself) hanging out..." then later on he closes with these lines: "...the courses get a bit quieter between Christmas and New Year, thus, I can get in a few rounds as well. Hey, I need to relax too! But with my luck, I’ll get a caddie who resembles one of the Horison’s elves..."
As a blogger might write nowadays -- "WTF?" *
* That stands for "what the flibberty-jibbet" I think...
* The great bout of diarrhea is over. Get back to eating your vegetables.
* Why you should support the highly successful but under supported Vietnamese women's football team and not the men's team at the SEA games.
* Don't forget Saturday is for dancing and CAMA have organised you and your friends a party. Come early and don't drive if you're on the lash.
* I discovered Vietnam News' golf column today and I'll be looking out for it in future. Here's his classy opening gambit -- "Brown greens [in winter] are not something that I enjoy, but I do enjoy ladies dressed to the nines in their winter clothes though, so there is a nice balance. There’s something about a good looking lady in high leather boots which I have always enjoyed..."
He gets back to talking about golf at some stage, but before that he also talks about the Horison Hotel's Christmas decorations which have pictures of an "elf with an axe, [...] smoking a crack pipe, [...] drinking beer and..." his favourite ..."one with his pants down and what appears to be his "Shmeckel" (that’s Yiddish, look it up for yourself) hanging out..." then later on he closes with these lines: "...the courses get a bit quieter between Christmas and New Year, thus, I can get in a few rounds as well. Hey, I need to relax too! But with my luck, I’ll get a caddie who resembles one of the Horison’s elves..."
As a blogger might write nowadays -- "WTF?" *
* That stands for "what the flibberty-jibbet" I think...
Sunday, December 09, 2007
Enter the Dragon
While people might have been complaining about the price of cabbage and what have you in Vietnam of late (certainly not me mind you), spare a thought for the Plain People of Ireland who in search of a nice, plump Dragon Fruit to have after their lunch come face to face with this staggering price -- €3 for one sole Dragon Fruit, as spotted by Teddy de Burca Snr. while strolling through the Dublin suburbs.
I suppose if something gets transported half way across its universe, it has every right to inflate its own price by 30 or 35 times. Like that other spiky fruit David Beckham...
Anyway much delighted I am to discover the Dragon Fruit's worth in the homeland -- there was me worrying myself sick over what to bring home for Christmas: A kilo of Dragon Fruit it is, otherwise known as "Pitahaya, Strawberry Pear, Cactus fruit, Night blooming Cereus, Belle of the Night and the Cinderella plant..."
If you're off to England, you can do likewise, as after my three seconds of research, I note that its £1.79 per fruit in Tesco's.
For best effects, serve chilled.
While people might have been complaining about the price of cabbage and what have you in Vietnam of late (certainly not me mind you), spare a thought for the Plain People of Ireland who in search of a nice, plump Dragon Fruit to have after their lunch come face to face with this staggering price -- €3 for one sole Dragon Fruit, as spotted by Teddy de Burca Snr. while strolling through the Dublin suburbs.
I suppose if something gets transported half way across its universe, it has every right to inflate its own price by 30 or 35 times. Like that other spiky fruit David Beckham...
Anyway much delighted I am to discover the Dragon Fruit's worth in the homeland -- there was me worrying myself sick over what to bring home for Christmas: A kilo of Dragon Fruit it is, otherwise known as "Pitahaya, Strawberry Pear, Cactus fruit, Night blooming Cereus, Belle of the Night and the Cinderella plant..."
If you're off to England, you can do likewise, as after my three seconds of research, I note that its £1.79 per fruit in Tesco's.
For best effects, serve chilled.
Wednesday, December 05, 2007
*As Derek Zoolander will tell you, it's hard being really, really, ridiculously good looking... and poor auld male models in Vietnam are peeved because they don't get as much cash as the chicks: "male models struggle to make ends meet in an under developed industry plagued by gender bias..." or so says this article in Thanh Nien, sublimely titled: The Adonis Dilemma.
"Binh Minh said, “In most shows, we only function as a foil for the girls. We can't change our status. Yet, we still remain on the catwalk due to our love and dedication for the art of fashion..." while the reporter ponders... "how long it will be before Vietnam invests sufficiently to address the industry's gender compensation gap and wholeheartedly promote its local Adonises to the world."
Sometimes it is hard to be a man. As well as really, really, ridiculously good looking. But I'm sure a few Orange Mocha Frappuchini will cheer them up.
* The Minsk Club's famous victory over the Drink team is reviewed with no bias whatsoever by that outrageously handsome midfielder Richard 'the Boy' Rastall. Could have been a model if it weren't for his love of nature, a pint of bitter and a pack of tabs...
"Binh Minh said, “In most shows, we only function as a foil for the girls. We can't change our status. Yet, we still remain on the catwalk due to our love and dedication for the art of fashion..." while the reporter ponders... "how long it will be before Vietnam invests sufficiently to address the industry's gender compensation gap and wholeheartedly promote its local Adonises to the world."
Sometimes it is hard to be a man. As well as really, really, ridiculously good looking. But I'm sure a few Orange Mocha Frappuchini will cheer them up.
* The Minsk Club's famous victory over the Drink team is reviewed with no bias whatsoever by that outrageously handsome midfielder Richard 'the Boy' Rastall. Could have been a model if it weren't for his love of nature, a pint of bitter and a pack of tabs...
Money, money, money...
* At Pittstop HQ we're not obsessed with money, really -- everyone else just won't stop talking about it. The price of cabbage has gone up along with everything else... and I need a raise, along with everyone else.
* Pittstop's Powerful imagery of the day award goes to the VNews' article on seven-year-olds with 4kg bags : "If the current pressure cooker stays in place, and the nation’s children never learn to play, I fear this generation will grow up to become neurotic, uncreative robots. What’s more, these robots may be afflicted with the health woes that come with years of physical inactivity." Read on if you want...
* At Pittstop HQ we're not obsessed with money, really -- everyone else just won't stop talking about it. The price of cabbage has gone up along with everything else... and I need a raise, along with everyone else.
- The other day more than 10,000 workers walked out of a South Korean plant that makes shoes for Nike, demanding higher pay to keep pace with rising prices in Vietnam.
- People can't afford weddings...
- ...or babies – (there's a news video here on that same topic)
* Pittstop's Powerful imagery of the day award goes to the VNews' article on seven-year-olds with 4kg bags : "If the current pressure cooker stays in place, and the nation’s children never learn to play, I fear this generation will grow up to become neurotic, uncreative robots. What’s more, these robots may be afflicted with the health woes that come with years of physical inactivity." Read on if you want...
Monday, December 03, 2007
Whoop-jug I love thee!
* CAMA party on the horizon: Last CAMA party of the year on December 15th with djs, bands and the usual level of tomfoolery. More info on the where and the who.
* 24 hours to do Hanoi: If you could spend 24 hours in Hanoi -- as a guest -- would you take the Financial Times' advice on what to do? The FT boys go bananas and get up at 6am, have coffee in a cafe which doesn't exist anymore, head off for a quick museum fix, spend six hours in the Old Quarter and then eat some fancy French food... next stop -- Shanghai!
* Nuoc mam: How shall I count the ways I love thee?
* Minsk FC: Hanoi's handsomest team, Minsk FC finally got back to winning ways against Hanoi's most French team, after Sub-Gaffer Brian Lalor and Perma-Gaffer Johnny Symons sent out a rallying cry for 'players to show some more passion'. Final score 2- 0 with goals from much criticised and out of form strikers La Tete and Uncle Cooper. No pics or review yet.
* Did you know... "The number of abortions has declined in Ho Chi Minh City, but the large Asian city still sees more abortions there than live births." Read on.
* Simile of the week: "Vietnam seems on the boil, like the pots at the ubiquitous pho stands." Bravo!
* Documentaries: I heard it on the Grapevine that there's a festival of documentaries from today until December 15th in Hanoi.
* CAMA party on the horizon: Last CAMA party of the year on December 15th with djs, bands and the usual level of tomfoolery. More info on the where and the who.
* 24 hours to do Hanoi: If you could spend 24 hours in Hanoi -- as a guest -- would you take the Financial Times' advice on what to do? The FT boys go bananas and get up at 6am, have coffee in a cafe which doesn't exist anymore, head off for a quick museum fix, spend six hours in the Old Quarter and then eat some fancy French food... next stop -- Shanghai!
* Nuoc mam: How shall I count the ways I love thee?
* Minsk FC: Hanoi's handsomest team, Minsk FC finally got back to winning ways against Hanoi's most French team, after Sub-Gaffer Brian Lalor and Perma-Gaffer Johnny Symons sent out a rallying cry for 'players to show some more passion'. Final score 2- 0 with goals from much criticised and out of form strikers La Tete and Uncle Cooper. No pics or review yet.
* Did you know... "The number of abortions has declined in Ho Chi Minh City, but the large Asian city still sees more abortions there than live births." Read on.
* Simile of the week: "Vietnam seems on the boil, like the pots at the ubiquitous pho stands." Bravo!
* Documentaries: I heard it on the Grapevine that there's a festival of documentaries from today until December 15th in Hanoi.
Friday, November 30, 2007
83 years and still going strong
Those flamboyant head-the-ball Cao Daiists celebrate 83 years of their hotch-potch religion this week and the giant unblinking Divine Eye knows you weren't there to blow out the candles.
It really is a far out religion. This year old timeout article on Cao Dai gives you the basics. Here's an older over the top article describing it as a congregation of kitsch amongst other things.
Trivia: Did you know even Mr. Graham Greene is said to have once flirted with the idea of converting to Caodaiism but quickly backtracked describing it on his return to England in the mid 1950s as, “a game that had gone on too long.” Must have been the pink decor that turned him off.
Check it out:
He also described it as a "Disney-like fantasia of the east". Whether he said that before or after he considered signing up for a colourful robe I know not.
Those flamboyant head-the-ball Cao Daiists celebrate 83 years of their hotch-potch religion this week and the giant unblinking Divine Eye knows you weren't there to blow out the candles.
It really is a far out religion. This year old timeout article on Cao Dai gives you the basics. Here's an older over the top article describing it as a congregation of kitsch amongst other things.
Trivia: Did you know even Mr. Graham Greene is said to have once flirted with the idea of converting to Caodaiism but quickly backtracked describing it on his return to England in the mid 1950s as, “a game that had gone on too long.” Must have been the pink decor that turned him off.
Check it out:
He also described it as a "Disney-like fantasia of the east". Whether he said that before or after he considered signing up for a colourful robe I know not.
Thursday, November 29, 2007
My life with a bomb - part II
You might remember that story I was telling you about the poor wee man in Dong Trach commune in Quang Binh province in Central Vietnam, who found an undetonated bomb in his own backyard while building a new outhouse for himself and ever-so-BRAVELY removed it then drove off to an uninhabited area outside town, all by himself, to ensure the safety of others, only to be told to take it back to his house by a couple of silly-billies with uniforms, caps and whistles.
Well... after those fine, upstanding fellows at MAG (Mines Advisory Group - We salute you!) defused the bomb, the beleaguered gent revealed EXCLUSIVELY (to Pittstop Works' friend's colleague's interpreter) how he was forced to keep watch over the bomb for six sleepless days and nights.
"I couldn't do my job, I couldn't do anything. My wife and my grandchildren were afraid so they stayed with my relatives who live far away from here. So at night, I sat in the house alone. My neighbours knew what had happened so no one in the neighbourhood dared to go outside."
Poor man. Anyway, thankfully, he's survived his ordeal and lived to tell the tale.
You might remember that story I was telling you about the poor wee man in Dong Trach commune in Quang Binh province in Central Vietnam, who found an undetonated bomb in his own backyard while building a new outhouse for himself and ever-so-BRAVELY removed it then drove off to an uninhabited area outside town, all by himself, to ensure the safety of others, only to be told to take it back to his house by a couple of silly-billies with uniforms, caps and whistles.
Well... after those fine, upstanding fellows at MAG (Mines Advisory Group - We salute you!) defused the bomb, the beleaguered gent revealed EXCLUSIVELY (to Pittstop Works' friend's colleague's interpreter) how he was forced to keep watch over the bomb for six sleepless days and nights.
"I couldn't do my job, I couldn't do anything. My wife and my grandchildren were afraid so they stayed with my relatives who live far away from here. So at night, I sat in the house alone. My neighbours knew what had happened so no one in the neighbourhood dared to go outside."
Poor man. Anyway, thankfully, he's survived his ordeal and lived to tell the tale.
Stock market philosophy - part 21 (from the VN Financial Gazette)
As the stock market grows with maturity, inevitably people are starting to come up with sage like advice for those either immersed in the world of trading stocks or tempted to test the waters. Everyday we hear a new one here at the VN Financial Gazette offices, like the other day, when a visiting executive told us: “When the tide is high, no one knows you’re naked…”
"Nothing wrong with a bit of skinny dipping," we replied, not really getting the point, if there was one.
"You see, what I mean is, when the tide is low you’ll see just how many people are completely starkers," he explained.
"..."
"Look, its a metaphor for the dangers of penniless speculators," he went on.
"..."
"And there's no lifeguards to bail you out of the deep end," he added.
"What about arm floats?"
"What?"
"Or expandable under arm gussets?"
"Excuse me?"
"Inflatable chair loungers? Buoyancy aids? Snorkeling equipment? Stock-market-goggles?"
After 30 minutes of continued discussions, we believe the point is... for those without significant financial backing, its recommended you do some semi-nude sub-aquatic investigation in shallow waters before going, er, deep-sea diving.
For those who are on the ocean’s floor in their birthday suits still trying to happen upon the treasure, the bad news is regulations are set to tighten meaning there won’t be so much side street dealings for stocks in the near future.
It might be time to come up for air.
As the stock market grows with maturity, inevitably people are starting to come up with sage like advice for those either immersed in the world of trading stocks or tempted to test the waters. Everyday we hear a new one here at the VN Financial Gazette offices, like the other day, when a visiting executive told us: “When the tide is high, no one knows you’re naked…”
"Nothing wrong with a bit of skinny dipping," we replied, not really getting the point, if there was one.
"You see, what I mean is, when the tide is low you’ll see just how many people are completely starkers," he explained.
"..."
"Look, its a metaphor for the dangers of penniless speculators," he went on.
"..."
"And there's no lifeguards to bail you out of the deep end," he added.
"What about arm floats?"
"What?"
"Or expandable under arm gussets?"
"Excuse me?"
"Inflatable chair loungers? Buoyancy aids? Snorkeling equipment? Stock-market-goggles?"
After 30 minutes of continued discussions, we believe the point is... for those without significant financial backing, its recommended you do some semi-nude sub-aquatic investigation in shallow waters before going, er, deep-sea diving.
For those who are on the ocean’s floor in their birthday suits still trying to happen upon the treasure, the bad news is regulations are set to tighten meaning there won’t be so much side street dealings for stocks in the near future.
It might be time to come up for air.
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Finally, a story of love in the time of … cholera!
With one marriage under her belt already, Tan is keeping her eye out for a man who is tall, muscular, unmarried and handsome. She sells soft drinks and sweets outside her house, waiting patiently for the day her prince charming arrives. Her small house is said to be worth a rather whopping $1 million, so let’s hope no one uses the poor woman to get their hands on the property!
Yes, she may be long in the tooth, but she has passion in spades. Her banner, which she commissioned an artist to create, stresses how fierce this woman’s love is. She claims she is still quite robust and she can eat five kilogrammes of fried fish immediately, which is certainly no mean feat. Neighbours confirm she's healthy, light on her feet and easy going.
Her five children have grown up and have their own families and do not oppose her search for love, so you have no reason to fear the wrath of her irate children.
Recently, Tan is said to have “spotted” a man of her choice who is 22 years old, but so far she’s playing coy on how this relationship is progressing! Oh you tease!
Pic: from VNexpress
Your expression of the week: May bay ba gia thich phi cong tre (The old plane likes a young pilot!)
Monday, November 26, 2007
Kimono traders
Bored, rich and restless? Wondering what to do with your surplus cash? Well, how about jetting off to a foreign country and dabbling in the stock market? It might seem a rather risky practice, or even complete madness, but recent reports in local media suggest that scores of Japanese have been lured by the attractiveness of Vietnam Ho Chi Minh City Vietnam and part of a wider trend which has seen Japanese housewives ditch their traditional roles, or daytime soaps, for the world of currency trading and influencing both international markets and Japan
Saturday, November 24, 2007
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
- Drinking water ain't what it should be but what are you gonna do?
- Apparently AsiaLIFE HCMC has stalled over some internal brouhaha -- time to swoop in and set up LIFEAsia HCMC while no one is looking. Who's with me?
- A very troubling article by Marcus Gee on child prostitution in the southern city
- PLUG: Those HITS fellas (Thespians of Hanoi!) are putting on two mini-plays this weekend. One's a satire so it might be funny but don't come complaining to me if it's not. Personally I'm allergic to theatre performances where everyone in the audience knows everyone on stage -- the collective chumminess makes me a bit claustrophobic...
- And one serious food-blogger is most confused at why "Germany's most famous man of letters" has kebab stands all over Hanoi...
- ANOTHER PLUG: There's a music festival in Hanoi -- not very well advertised as per usual so here's the poster. Free tickets from Goethe Institut, L'Espace, British Council, wrap up of the bands here
Monday, November 19, 2007
Vietnam's so hot right now...
A Canadian financial journalist is in town and he says "surf's up".
But if someone's friend's friend's friend says its safe to surf is it safe to surf?
With many newly privatized companies releasing little reliable financial information, surfers often buy and sell on the basis of rumour and hearsay. "They'll say things like, 'My friend has an uncle who has a sister who's married to a guy who bought this stock,' " says Mark Djandjy, a Canadian who is head of research for Ho Chi Minh City's Horizon Security Analysis.
Surfer Pham Thanh Tung, 29, says he has increased his money 11 times since he started trading a couple of years ago. "It's easy to buy, easy to sell," he says, "I give you money and you give me stocks - nobody knows."
Another surfer, Trinh Tuan Vu, 26, says he once walked into a café with six billion Vietnamese dong, the local currency, in three ordinary plastic shopping bags. That's nearly $400,000 (US).
And what's that got to do with the price of cabbage, says you.... Well, while its good surf for some the auld dears ain't so happy with ... well, the price of cabbage.
Snippets from the local press...
Million-dollar-dolt
Police in Hanoi arrested an employee of the Noi Bai Airport Joint Stock Cargo Services Company (NCS) after mysterious disappearance and subsequent reappearance of two boxes containing $1 million from warehouses at Noi Bai Airport early last week. The saga began yesterday at the warehouses operated by NCS when the two boxes arrived at 10:30 a.m last week. Techcombank was the intended receiver of the currency. However no one from the bank was there to retrieve the packages when the money arrived. At noon, the employee reported that the packages had suspiciously vanished. The contents were approximately $900,000 worth of Euro along with other foreign currencies. Police came to the scene to investigate. By 4pm the boxes were surprisingly located in another area of the warehouse. Four suspects including Thang were detained by police for questioning and he confessed to having moved the boxes himself
Please can I go to prison
The vice Director of Nhat Tan Co Ltd which specialised in import-export activities, has submitted an application to be jailed along with his brother, the director of the company, to “avoid tax payment” due to what he called the indifference attitude of the taxation authorities in his locality.
A Canadian financial journalist is in town and he says "surf's up".
But if someone's friend's friend's friend says its safe to surf is it safe to surf?
With many newly privatized companies releasing little reliable financial information, surfers often buy and sell on the basis of rumour and hearsay. "They'll say things like, 'My friend has an uncle who has a sister who's married to a guy who bought this stock,' " says Mark Djandjy, a Canadian who is head of research for Ho Chi Minh City's Horizon Security Analysis.
Surfer Pham Thanh Tung, 29, says he has increased his money 11 times since he started trading a couple of years ago. "It's easy to buy, easy to sell," he says, "I give you money and you give me stocks - nobody knows."
Another surfer, Trinh Tuan Vu, 26, says he once walked into a café with six billion Vietnamese dong, the local currency, in three ordinary plastic shopping bags. That's nearly $400,000 (US).
And what's that got to do with the price of cabbage, says you.... Well, while its good surf for some the auld dears ain't so happy with ... well, the price of cabbage.
Snippets from the local press...
Million-dollar-dolt
Police in Hanoi arrested an employee of the Noi Bai Airport Joint Stock Cargo Services Company (NCS) after mysterious disappearance and subsequent reappearance of two boxes containing $1 million from warehouses at Noi Bai Airport early last week. The saga began yesterday at the warehouses operated by NCS when the two boxes arrived at 10:30 a.m last week. Techcombank was the intended receiver of the currency. However no one from the bank was there to retrieve the packages when the money arrived. At noon, the employee reported that the packages had suspiciously vanished. The contents were approximately $900,000 worth of Euro along with other foreign currencies. Police came to the scene to investigate. By 4pm the boxes were surprisingly located in another area of the warehouse. Four suspects including Thang were detained by police for questioning and he confessed to having moved the boxes himself
Please can I go to prison
The vice Director of Nhat Tan Co Ltd which specialised in import-export activities, has submitted an application to be jailed along with his brother, the director of the company, to “avoid tax payment” due to what he called the indifference attitude of the taxation authorities in his locality.
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
¥ A writer from Atlantic.com is in Vietnam and blogging like Billio. Wish I was on holidays.
¥ Meanwhile those Crocs are still on the loose and...
¥ Rain, rain, rain... in the central parts of Vietnam.
"About 2,500 foreigners were among 3,000 tourists who have been confined to hotels in the city of Hue by floodwaters triggered by heavy rains from a tropical depression." says Reuters. "Nearly 150 old houses have been submerged in Hoi An town, a World Heritage site and a popular tourist destination in Quang Nam province..."
¥ Meanwhile those Crocs are still on the loose and...
¥ Rain, rain, rain... in the central parts of Vietnam.
"About 2,500 foreigners were among 3,000 tourists who have been confined to hotels in the city of Hue by floodwaters triggered by heavy rains from a tropical depression." says Reuters. "Nearly 150 old houses have been submerged in Hoi An town, a World Heritage site and a popular tourist destination in Quang Nam province..."
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
I'm working on a synopsis for my new film: Crocodiles on a Train. Feel free to drop suggestions in the comment box. Get on board, it's going to be MASSIVE.
General gist: A flashflood washes away 5,000 crocs in Khanh Hoa province. Meanwhile a young man witnesses the murder of a hapless drug dealer by a mafia boss. He escapes and tells the police what he saw, which is pretty handy as the police just can't put away this nasty mafia boss without a first hand witness. Bad-ass detective Samuel Jackson takes the young hero by train (planes can't fly in the storm, see) to Hanoi to testify against the mafia boss. But the dastardly mafia boss rounds up all the crocs before the croc farmers do and puts them all on the train to Hanoi and creates a powerful drug which after being set off by timed-bomb-device makes the crocs go really, really loco. Like frothing at the mouth ready for a feeding frenzy-loco. So the crocs go berserk and eat pretty much everyone except for our young hero, Samuel L. Jackson, a really good looking female-train-steward and a fat kid who learnt to drive trains with the help of a computer game. Samuel gets really annoyed and says "I've had it with these mudderfuggin crocodiles on this mudderfuggin train..." so he tells everyone to tie themselves to the chairs, drives the train through a lake and washes away all the crocs, while the young fat kid successfully pulls the train into Hanoi station. Samuel kisses the steward and everyone heads off for bun cha through the "mudderffuggin'" traffic .
Le fin
General gist: A flashflood washes away 5,000 crocs in Khanh Hoa province. Meanwhile a young man witnesses the murder of a hapless drug dealer by a mafia boss. He escapes and tells the police what he saw, which is pretty handy as the police just can't put away this nasty mafia boss without a first hand witness. Bad-ass detective Samuel Jackson takes the young hero by train (planes can't fly in the storm, see) to Hanoi to testify against the mafia boss. But the dastardly mafia boss rounds up all the crocs before the croc farmers do and puts them all on the train to Hanoi and creates a powerful drug which after being set off by timed-bomb-device makes the crocs go really, really loco. Like frothing at the mouth ready for a feeding frenzy-loco. So the crocs go berserk and eat pretty much everyone except for our young hero, Samuel L. Jackson, a really good looking female-train-steward and a fat kid who learnt to drive trains with the help of a computer game. Samuel gets really annoyed and says "I've had it with these mudderfuggin crocodiles on this mudderfuggin train..." so he tells everyone to tie themselves to the chairs, drives the train through a lake and washes away all the crocs, while the young fat kid successfully pulls the train into Hanoi station. Samuel kisses the steward and everyone heads off for bun cha through the "mudderffuggin'" traffic .
Le fin
Thursday, November 08, 2007
‡ Gangsters online -- you have to admire the 'thinking outside the box' entrepreneurial spirit. Though now they've been arrested you'd also have to say on a scale of one to ten, one being thick as two short planks, ten being super brainy, they'd score pretty low.
‡ Back in the one-room house he shares with his mother, he says what most impressed him about Hanoi was electricity, but otherwise he didn't really like the big city. Read on...
‡ Back in the one-room house he shares with his mother, he says what most impressed him about Hanoi was electricity, but otherwise he didn't really like the big city. Read on...
• Floods in central Vietnam in pictures
• A colleague just sent me this story from a local paper: What do you do if you find an undetonated bomb in your backyard? Put it somewhere safe? Recently a man living in Dong Trach commune in Quang Binh province in Central Vietnam, had some extra facilities added to his house and came across a bomb around 1.6m long. He informed the authorities then carried the bomb off to the uninhabited sand dunes far from all residential areas. But when two members of the local military force caught up with him, they ordered him to bring the bomb back to his home for safekeeping! They also warned him if he lost it, he would assume all possible responsibility. Baffled, the man obliged though the two men have since been punished by the local authorities.
• A colleague just sent me this story from a local paper: What do you do if you find an undetonated bomb in your backyard? Put it somewhere safe? Recently a man living in Dong Trach commune in Quang Binh province in Central Vietnam, had some extra facilities added to his house and came across a bomb around 1.6m long. He informed the authorities then carried the bomb off to the uninhabited sand dunes far from all residential areas. But when two members of the local military force caught up with him, they ordered him to bring the bomb back to his home for safekeeping! They also warned him if he lost it, he would assume all possible responsibility. Baffled, the man obliged though the two men have since been punished by the local authorities.
Tuesday, November 06, 2007
Now turn off your computer and go outside and play (A photo essay)
"The government requires that games developed in Vietnam get more boring after five hours of play, encouraging children to focus on other activities."
Vietnam is apparently a "crouching tech tiger" but seriously who's gonna buy the Segway??? Then again people still buy the Sinclair C5. Poor auld Clive... way ahead of his time.
Mind you, a Segway or a C5 might be handy for nipping down the road at lunchtime for an egg sandwich or a post-work bia.
"The government requires that games developed in Vietnam get more boring after five hours of play, encouraging children to focus on other activities."
Vietnam is apparently a "crouching tech tiger" but seriously who's gonna buy the Segway??? Then again people still buy the Sinclair C5. Poor auld Clive... way ahead of his time.
Mind you, a Segway or a C5 might be handy for nipping down the road at lunchtime for an egg sandwich or a post-work bia.
Monday, November 05, 2007
* Ia Chay: RE the outbreak of the runs, it's the vegetables. Those god-damn raw vegetables! (or so says someone
from WHO, who told someone I know). So leave mam tom out of this. Though it is still banned
* After eating nom du du on Thursday and Friday, all the accompanying veg I had with bun cha on Friday, the salad I had on Friday night... I was thinking I was eating healthily. The Ngoc Ha market was half-empty this morning. Only meat and fruit available, so the powers that be are taking this pretty seriously.
* The weather, oh we'll always have the weather: A stunning day, like a perfect Irish summer's day (no sniggering at the back), 25 degrees, blue sunny skies... but my office colleagues are wearing jumpers and scarves. It was good enough for the turtle (perhaps he's Irish?). He clambered up onto the island in Hoan kiem lake to soak up the rays according to that man-about-town-Julio. Of course, the turtle might just be trying to get out of the murky depths to breathe. Of course if you foolishly believed everything you read at Pittstop Works you'd know that he's actually a 62-year old retired sub-aquatic minesweeper.
* I am, for the record, wearing socks.
* Correction: I said that Thuy Linh was a verb and an adjective, but it was actually Vang Anh, the name of the show she was in. Example: A young man comes home late at night and his brother will tease him, I'm translating obviously, "You were out doing a Vang Anh", or something along those lines.
from WHO, who told someone I know). So leave mam tom out of this. Though it is still banned
* After eating nom du du on Thursday and Friday, all the accompanying veg I had with bun cha on Friday, the salad I had on Friday night... I was thinking I was eating healthily. The Ngoc Ha market was half-empty this morning. Only meat and fruit available, so the powers that be are taking this pretty seriously.
* The weather, oh we'll always have the weather: A stunning day, like a perfect Irish summer's day (no sniggering at the back), 25 degrees, blue sunny skies... but my office colleagues are wearing jumpers and scarves. It was good enough for the turtle (perhaps he's Irish?). He clambered up onto the island in Hoan kiem lake to soak up the rays according to that man-about-town-Julio. Of course, the turtle might just be trying to get out of the murky depths to breathe. Of course if you foolishly believed everything you read at Pittstop Works you'd know that he's actually a 62-year old retired sub-aquatic minesweeper.
* I am, for the record, wearing socks.
* Correction: I said that Thuy Linh was a verb and an adjective, but it was actually Vang Anh, the name of the show she was in. Example: A young man comes home late at night and his brother will tease him, I'm translating obviously, "You were out doing a Vang Anh", or something along those lines.
Thursday, November 01, 2007
The mam tom bellyache
Foreigners often retch at the sight or thought of mam tom (fermented shrimp paste) and while ye hardy-eaters and locals might titter at others timidity before wolfing down some mam tom on top of your tofu or cha ca, it appears that the infamous purple substance is the cause of an outbreak of the runs. Really, really bad runs according to this article.
A few dozen patients in the capital city and other northern provinces have been hospitalised with identical symptoms: diarrhea, vomiting, and water exhaustion and up to 90 per cent of these people ate raw food, such as -- we all need a scapegoat in times of trouble -- mam tom (shrimp paste)!
According to the article, the local authorities have even banned the use of shrimp paste at restaurants -- I'd like to see if that's actually being followed -- and people are being warned off other raw goodies such as those pork rolls (nem chua) you get at bia hoi.
Banning mam tom and nem chua... well I never.
Foreigners often retch at the sight or thought of mam tom (fermented shrimp paste) and while ye hardy-eaters and locals might titter at others timidity before wolfing down some mam tom on top of your tofu or cha ca, it appears that the infamous purple substance is the cause of an outbreak of the runs. Really, really bad runs according to this article.
A few dozen patients in the capital city and other northern provinces have been hospitalised with identical symptoms: diarrhea, vomiting, and water exhaustion and up to 90 per cent of these people ate raw food, such as -- we all need a scapegoat in times of trouble -- mam tom (shrimp paste)!
According to the article, the local authorities have even banned the use of shrimp paste at restaurants -- I'd like to see if that's actually being followed -- and people are being warned off other raw goodies such as those pork rolls (nem chua) you get at bia hoi.
Banning mam tom and nem chua... well I never.
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Thanh Nien invites us to Meet Bill from Saigon -- doesn't look a day over 80 but apparently he's in his 50s. It's a clip made by an American guy who was smitten by Bill -- real name Hung -- and his youthful exuberance. His clip on youtube has been watched over 69,000 times. Proof we'll watch anything someone else has watched. I just did anyway. I was person 69,169. Seems like a lovely old fella but hardly surprising that an old guy can speak English in Saigon, is it? Near my office there's a hall of geriatric table tennis enthusiasts and one of them speaks Spanish, French, German and Russian and even some Chinese. It disappoints him no end that as I speak none of those languages we have to speak in Vietnamese and so he doesn't have a chance to show off in front of his mates.
Monday, October 29, 2007
1) A wee CAMA shindig on Halloween night -- details there at Hanoi Grapevine the new Arts listings blog
2) (Almost) time to invest in North Korea? Apparently the wee man is into the Vietnam-economic-template -- however unlikely that is.
3) Language evolves: apparently Thuy Linh is now an adjective and a verb. "Don't be Thuy Linh", or "don't do a Thuy Linh..." Still not quite sure how that works... but anyway, the people who uploaded the sex-clip featuring Thuy Linh have been rounded up and arrested and "according to Vietnamese criminal law, the culprits would be fined some VND3-30 million (US$300-3,000), probation up to three years, and possibly three imprisonment depending on their involvement." Thuy Linh herself is in the clear (of course though her career is over) but she might have a new fiance...
4) No reason to mention football this Monday as the Minsk FC's season has gone completely pear shaped.
5) Apparently the Irish invented the words baloney, jazz and dude and many more. Well, according to that guy anyway. Can't vouch for it but a few make certain sense -- go leor becomes galore, uisce to whisky, Teddy de Burca Snr. points out Slan becoming so long, and so on.
RE jazz: OF ALL THE hundreds of American slang words that he [Cassidy, the author] has traced back to the Irish language, his favourite is jazz. Ironically, the name is associated with African-American music, though the earliest performers of "jazz" didn't like the word. Jazz comes from "teas", a noun for heat, passion and excitement. He's traced the use of "jazz" as a synonym for sex as far back as 1899. Musician Richard Holbrooke wrote in 1974: "I shall be glad to swear on oath before a notary public that 'jazz' as a sex word was not only used in San Francisco before the earthquake and fire, but that it was of such common use that it was a localism."
"Jazz was so full of jasm and gism ('teas ioma' - an abundance of heat and passion; figuratively semen) that no one could, or would, write it down. In 1913, it was a word you learned by ear - like jazz music."
2) (Almost) time to invest in North Korea? Apparently the wee man is into the Vietnam-economic-template -- however unlikely that is.
3) Language evolves: apparently Thuy Linh is now an adjective and a verb. "Don't be Thuy Linh", or "don't do a Thuy Linh..." Still not quite sure how that works... but anyway, the people who uploaded the sex-clip featuring Thuy Linh have been rounded up and arrested and "according to Vietnamese criminal law, the culprits would be fined some VND3-30 million (US$300-3,000), probation up to three years, and possibly three imprisonment depending on their involvement." Thuy Linh herself is in the clear (of course though her career is over) but she might have a new fiance...
4) No reason to mention football this Monday as the Minsk FC's season has gone completely pear shaped.
5) Apparently the Irish invented the words baloney, jazz and dude and many more. Well, according to that guy anyway. Can't vouch for it but a few make certain sense -- go leor becomes galore, uisce to whisky, Teddy de Burca Snr. points out Slan becoming so long, and so on.
RE jazz: OF ALL THE hundreds of American slang words that he [Cassidy, the author] has traced back to the Irish language, his favourite is jazz. Ironically, the name is associated with African-American music, though the earliest performers of "jazz" didn't like the word. Jazz comes from "teas", a noun for heat, passion and excitement. He's traced the use of "jazz" as a synonym for sex as far back as 1899. Musician Richard Holbrooke wrote in 1974: "I shall be glad to swear on oath before a notary public that 'jazz' as a sex word was not only used in San Francisco before the earthquake and fire, but that it was of such common use that it was a localism."
"Jazz was so full of jasm and gism ('teas ioma' - an abundance of heat and passion; figuratively semen) that no one could, or would, write it down. In 1913, it was a word you learned by ear - like jazz music."
Thursday, October 25, 2007
Ex-Hanoi resident and illustrator extraordinaire Paul Oslo Davis has his first animation online called Personal Hygiene. Check it out -- hover your mouse over the right hand side and click on the black and white eyes...
It's part of a show called Animated which features 14 short self-portrait animations by a collection of Australian illustrators and animators working in a range of styles -- presented by the National Portrait Gallery in Canberra.
And while I have ya -- speaking of Australian culture....
It's part of a show called Animated which features 14 short self-portrait animations by a collection of Australian illustrators and animators working in a range of styles -- presented by the National Portrait Gallery in Canberra.
And while I have ya -- speaking of Australian culture....
New head of hair : On Phu Dong Thien Vuong street a small shop’s sign simply reads Chay (Louse). Inside the staff offer an equally simple but unusual service – picking out grey hairs. The boss is 20-something Nguyen Anh Dung, who packed in his job at a foreign-invested firm to become the pioneer of grey-hair-plucking in Vietnam, if not the world. Five months ago when Dung opened the shop, he could neither hire anyone to work in his shop nor get an advertisement in a newspaper as people thought it just plain daft – or possibly too weird. Dung persuaded his relatives to help him out and has got his business up and running and trade is good enough for him to be contemplating opening a second shop. This time, Dung says he might advertise as a normal barber’s to ensure a smoother start up. For those of you who are heading the way of Steve Martin, a one hour service costs VND30,000.
The international papers are really digging this Thuy Linh scandal: Her fall from grace has highlighted the generational fault-lines in Vietnam, a sexually conservative culture within which women have been taught for centuries to remain chaste until marriage and stay true to one man — no matter how many times he cheats on them.
... new ideas about free love are much harder to accept than the free market. And unlike men, women who break the old sexual taboos are not easily forgiven.
In the old days, Khanh said, a woman who had sex before marriage would be ostracized — and rightfully so.
"A good girl must keep herself clean until she is married," Khanh said. "Thuy Linh should be condemned. If I ever see her again on TV, I will turn it off, for sure."
Life, eventually, will move on.
... new ideas about free love are much harder to accept than the free market. And unlike men, women who break the old sexual taboos are not easily forgiven.
In the old days, Khanh said, a woman who had sex before marriage would be ostracized — and rightfully so.
"A good girl must keep herself clean until she is married," Khanh said. "Thuy Linh should be condemned. If I ever see her again on TV, I will turn it off, for sure."
Life, eventually, will move on.
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Racers busted
A bunch of young boy racers came a cropper with the coppers recently.
Of course, 32 arrests from a speculative total of 1,000 racers means -- by my swift calculations -- there's another 968 racers still raring to rock and roll come the weekend. Guess the clampdown might deter them but I'd imagine only briefly.
One officer kicks off the blame game by suggesting that a "lack of supervision" from parents leads to such races.
Methinks more parents should be encouraged to sit on their children from the hours of 1am to 4am. Should clear up this problem in no time.
Who's next in line for Pittstop troubleshooting?
A bunch of young boy racers came a cropper with the coppers recently.
Of course, 32 arrests from a speculative total of 1,000 racers means -- by my swift calculations -- there's another 968 racers still raring to rock and roll come the weekend. Guess the clampdown might deter them but I'd imagine only briefly.
One officer kicks off the blame game by suggesting that a "lack of supervision" from parents leads to such races.
Methinks more parents should be encouraged to sit on their children from the hours of 1am to 4am. Should clear up this problem in no time.
Who's next in line for Pittstop troubleshooting?
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Well, it's been all beautiful Autumn days and diddley-squat else here at Pittstop HQ.
Vietnam's been a flutter with a sexual scandal -- even the beeb is talking about it -- involving a 19-year old TV star: "This is the most scandalous and controversial thing that has ever happened in Vietnam's virtual world."
...meanwhile the boys are crowding the girls out in Vietnam: "...over the past few years, in tandem with rising incomes and easier access to clinics that determine foetal sex and conduct abortions, the number of male births has raced ahead of female ones. Already, the number of boys born in many regions of Vietnam exceeds those of girls by 20 per cent or more..."
Sadly the much anticipated season of glory for Minsk FC is yet to get going. Pictures here. Playing at My Dinh Stadium – on the training pitch rather than inside the stadium, alas – the boys were under the cosh for most of the first half, but thanks to some resolute defending and Ali's goalkeeping heroics it was only 2-0 at half time rather than 10 -0. In the second half the lads went three down before deciding to fight back, but two goals were too little too late. For a team with aspirations of winning the title, a heroic loss doesn't cut the mustard anymore but... "It's more of a marathon with a very slow, laboured start rather than what you might call a quick sprint," the Gaffer John Cinnamon reassured the lads.
Vietnam's been a flutter with a sexual scandal -- even the beeb is talking about it -- involving a 19-year old TV star: "This is the most scandalous and controversial thing that has ever happened in Vietnam's virtual world."
...meanwhile the boys are crowding the girls out in Vietnam: "...over the past few years, in tandem with rising incomes and easier access to clinics that determine foetal sex and conduct abortions, the number of male births has raced ahead of female ones. Already, the number of boys born in many regions of Vietnam exceeds those of girls by 20 per cent or more..."
Sadly the much anticipated season of glory for Minsk FC is yet to get going. Pictures here. Playing at My Dinh Stadium – on the training pitch rather than inside the stadium, alas – the boys were under the cosh for most of the first half, but thanks to some resolute defending and Ali's goalkeeping heroics it was only 2-0 at half time rather than 10 -0. In the second half the lads went three down before deciding to fight back, but two goals were too little too late. For a team with aspirations of winning the title, a heroic loss doesn't cut the mustard anymore but... "It's more of a marathon with a very slow, laboured start rather than what you might call a quick sprint," the Gaffer John Cinnamon reassured the lads.
Monday, October 22, 2007
Bradford's Zippos
Monsieur Bradford Edwards' Vietnam-American-war era zippos and zippo-pieces are on display in Santa Barbara... there's a wee video clip embedded in that report.
"A lot of these sentiments I heard before, 'We're the unwilling led by the unqualified doing the unnecessary for the ungrateful'," he says. "It rings a bell."
Zippos by the thousands were left behind in Vietnam. Fifteen years ago artist Bradford Edwards began collecting them at Vietnamese flea markets.
There's a more in depth piece on Edwards and his zippos from the NY Times last year here: He collects the metal lighters by the hundreds; he studies them; he celebrates them as tiny symbols. He searches for deeper meanings in the epigrams etched into their shiny sides by the American soldiers who left them behind. With grave whimsy he turns them into art.
If Vietnam and his warrior father remain enigmas to him, the answer, perhaps — if it is not blowing in the wind — can be found etched on the sides of Zippo lighters:
“Yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil for I am the evilest son of a bitch in the valley.”
“Death is my business and business has been good.”
“I’m not scared, just lonesome.”
“Please! Don’t tell me about Vietnam because I have been there.”
“I know I’m going to heaven because I’ve spent my time in hell: Vietnam.”
“Ours is not to do or die, ours is to smoke and stay high.”
“You’ve never really lived until you’ve nearly died.”
“If you got this off my dead ass I hope it brings you the same luck it brought me.”
Monsieur Bradford Edwards' Vietnam-American-war era zippos and zippo-pieces are on display in Santa Barbara... there's a wee video clip embedded in that report.
"A lot of these sentiments I heard before, 'We're the unwilling led by the unqualified doing the unnecessary for the ungrateful'," he says. "It rings a bell."
Zippos by the thousands were left behind in Vietnam. Fifteen years ago artist Bradford Edwards began collecting them at Vietnamese flea markets.
There's a more in depth piece on Edwards and his zippos from the NY Times last year here: He collects the metal lighters by the hundreds; he studies them; he celebrates them as tiny symbols. He searches for deeper meanings in the epigrams etched into their shiny sides by the American soldiers who left them behind. With grave whimsy he turns them into art.
If Vietnam and his warrior father remain enigmas to him, the answer, perhaps — if it is not blowing in the wind — can be found etched on the sides of Zippo lighters:
“Yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil for I am the evilest son of a bitch in the valley.”
“Death is my business and business has been good.”
“I’m not scared, just lonesome.”
“Please! Don’t tell me about Vietnam because I have been there.”
“I know I’m going to heaven because I’ve spent my time in hell: Vietnam.”
“Ours is not to do or die, ours is to smoke and stay high.”
“You’ve never really lived until you’ve nearly died.”
“If you got this off my dead ass I hope it brings you the same luck it brought me.”
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Hear about contemporary art scene updates on the Grapevine
Hanoi has an art scene that you might not know about. Some of ye might not care while others, yes, you want to be out there rubbing shoulders with les artistes, sipping on red wine and scratching your chin earnestly but the problem is you're always hearing about all these cool exhibitions after the ship has sailed. When you arrive the exhibition is over and no one is around to see you scratch your chin... you retreat to the nearest bar and commence the simple process of inebriation and -- if you're like me -- talk about either sport, traffic or the weather.
One local artist was so sick of missing events himself, he's decided to post stuff he does hear of to help circulate information (and hopefully attract more info as he can't post what he doesn't hear of, if you knowwhadimean) so others can find out about some cool exhibitions and events and so forth.
If you're interested check out the blog -- Hanoi Grapevine. You can also sign up for the mailing list there.
Hanoi has an art scene that you might not know about. Some of ye might not care while others, yes, you want to be out there rubbing shoulders with les artistes, sipping on red wine and scratching your chin earnestly but the problem is you're always hearing about all these cool exhibitions after the ship has sailed. When you arrive the exhibition is over and no one is around to see you scratch your chin... you retreat to the nearest bar and commence the simple process of inebriation and -- if you're like me -- talk about either sport, traffic or the weather.
One local artist was so sick of missing events himself, he's decided to post stuff he does hear of to help circulate information (and hopefully attract more info as he can't post what he doesn't hear of, if you knowwhadimean) so others can find out about some cool exhibitions and events and so forth.
If you're interested check out the blog -- Hanoi Grapevine. You can also sign up for the mailing list there.
Monday, October 15, 2007
Bits and pieces
1) More food blogging: Besides gas•tron•o•my which I pointed out a few posts back, there's also The Last Appetite – a pretty slick looking food blog – also based in Vietnam.
2) You might of read about the plastic Russian policeman who helped reduce speeding by his sheer presence -- and presence alone -- last year, while now in Australia a new campaign aims to tease men into slowing down. The "little pinkie" campaign suggests men who speed are compensating for something.
Sixty-one per cent of young males surveyed for the research believed the campaign had the power to make them think about their own driving behaviour, he said.
"This campaign is about saving lives - not pride. If it dents a few egos but helps save a life, then it's worth it," Mr Roozendaal said.
It'll be a while till such an ad might hit this neighbourhood I suppose. I reckon the Russian approach might be duoc-able though. Either that or a huge generic-mother-like figure looming over the traffic lights.
(Cheers to Caitlin for the link...)
3) A local celebrity-gossip blogger will be sued by a singer for defamation... apparently the word 'nymphet' was used... but looking at the singer I'm guessing that's a mistranslation.
4) If you're trying to save petrol money perhaps an Alaskan Malamute is the answer...
5) Flooding has already been a total disaster for some impoverished people in Hai Lang district, Quang Tri province in Central Vietnam. After local authorities organised a relocation plan to move houses away from flooded lands, 47 families from Hai Lang were relocated to a hilly area in Hai Lam commune and offered an allowance of VND4.7 million ($300) to build a new house. The families already feeling a bit shortchanged then discovered that the area is a former battle field full of unexploded ordnance. Nearby a sign posted by Renew, an organisation specialising in disarming mines and explosives, warns of the possible dangers of setting foot on the land. Perhaps a mistake made in haste? Unlikely, the plans for the relocation were made 10 years ago.
(Source Timeout)
6) Another bloody 0-0 result for the Minsk Football Club over the weekend -- no review yet but there are a couple of photos – and the strikers are not happy, ahem.
Next week we will be playing at the National Stadium however. That's right – the fortress of My Dinh itself. More on that later...
1) More food blogging: Besides gas•tron•o•my which I pointed out a few posts back, there's also The Last Appetite – a pretty slick looking food blog – also based in Vietnam.
2) You might of read about the plastic Russian policeman who helped reduce speeding by his sheer presence -- and presence alone -- last year, while now in Australia a new campaign aims to tease men into slowing down. The "little pinkie" campaign suggests men who speed are compensating for something.
Sixty-one per cent of young males surveyed for the research believed the campaign had the power to make them think about their own driving behaviour, he said.
"This campaign is about saving lives - not pride. If it dents a few egos but helps save a life, then it's worth it," Mr Roozendaal said.
It'll be a while till such an ad might hit this neighbourhood I suppose. I reckon the Russian approach might be duoc-able though. Either that or a huge generic-mother-like figure looming over the traffic lights.
(Cheers to Caitlin for the link...)
3) A local celebrity-gossip blogger will be sued by a singer for defamation... apparently the word 'nymphet' was used... but looking at the singer I'm guessing that's a mistranslation.
4) If you're trying to save petrol money perhaps an Alaskan Malamute is the answer...
5) Flooding has already been a total disaster for some impoverished people in Hai Lang district, Quang Tri province in Central Vietnam. After local authorities organised a relocation plan to move houses away from flooded lands, 47 families from Hai Lang were relocated to a hilly area in Hai Lam commune and offered an allowance of VND4.7 million ($300) to build a new house. The families already feeling a bit shortchanged then discovered that the area is a former battle field full of unexploded ordnance. Nearby a sign posted by Renew, an organisation specialising in disarming mines and explosives, warns of the possible dangers of setting foot on the land. Perhaps a mistake made in haste? Unlikely, the plans for the relocation were made 10 years ago.
(Source Timeout)
6) Another bloody 0-0 result for the Minsk Football Club over the weekend -- no review yet but there are a couple of photos – and the strikers are not happy, ahem.
Next week we will be playing at the National Stadium however. That's right – the fortress of My Dinh itself. More on that later...
Monday, October 08, 2007
Hirsute head bopping
More Stylish Nonsense -- my new favourite people from Bangkok. There's a few more videos up on youtube of their shows around the world...
This one is the song -- live in Hanoi -- I linked to a few days back in its entirety...
...and this one is the belter, which they played third I think, when the crowd went oh-yeah, live in Berlin. Sound quality is not the Mae West but you get the general gist.
More Stylish Nonsense -- my new favourite people from Bangkok. There's a few more videos up on youtube of their shows around the world...
This one is the song -- live in Hanoi -- I linked to a few days back in its entirety...
...and this one is the belter, which they played third I think, when the crowd went oh-yeah, live in Berlin. Sound quality is not the Mae West but you get the general gist.
If you like Vietnam-food blogs, in the style of Sticky Rice (Hanoi), and noodlepie (which is no longer in Vietnam), there is now gas•tron•o•my. It's based in HCM City.
Sunday, October 07, 2007
It was Hanoi's most handsome footballers, the Minsk Football Club versus Hanoi's most French footballers - the Drink team on Saturday. The Minsk strikers faltered but thankfully their defense and GK didn't. A scoreless draw in the end. Pictures here and a particularly good one of the bouncing gaffer. Despite two scrappy draws and three injuries in three weeks, the Gaffer is refusing to panic.
"It's a marathon not a sprint," he would have told the press if the press were listening.
"It's a marathon not a sprint," he would have told the press if the press were listening.
Nothing much happening here at Pittstop HQ, but here's a few vids for the bored and restless
1) Check out a short snippet from Stylish Nonsense at the recent CAMA show in Hanoi. One of the happiest performers I've ever set eyes on. Would like to see a vid of the third song, which was a belter.
2) For those of you who care, extraordinary scenes on the rugby field at the Coupe de Monde (renamed the Coupe de Merde by some in Ireland).
Worth watching the Haka again, if not the whole game, but also the forward pass that led to the winning try... oh dear, methinks that referee won't be welcome in New Zealand anytime soon.
1) Check out a short snippet from Stylish Nonsense at the recent CAMA show in Hanoi. One of the happiest performers I've ever set eyes on. Would like to see a vid of the third song, which was a belter.
2) For those of you who care, extraordinary scenes on the rugby field at the Coupe de Monde (renamed the Coupe de Merde by some in Ireland).
Worth watching the Haka again, if not the whole game, but also the forward pass that led to the winning try... oh dear, methinks that referee won't be welcome in New Zealand anytime soon.
Friday, October 05, 2007
* A journalist for the Age hangs on to his plastic stool on a night out over at Hanoi's bia hoi corner
Wednesday, October 03, 2007
1) "I cannot imagine myself wearing trendy clothes together with a helmet," said Le Tra My, 18, who was shopping for hats at an upscale store in Hanoi. "It will look awful." Read on.
Like I'm so not wearing one - puh-lease! But as of Dec. 15th they say it's the law. We shall see...
2) Yup - storm a-coming. Walk away from the water.
Like I'm so not wearing one - puh-lease! But as of Dec. 15th they say it's the law. We shall see...
2) Yup - storm a-coming. Walk away from the water.
Tuesday, October 02, 2007
The Minsk Football Club's season is underway: A hard fought 2-2 draw with ESE -- match report here -- out in the strange new universe that exists around UNIS.
Like driving around the set for the Truman Show out there.
Like driving around the set for the Truman Show out there.
Author's note: The weather cooled off last week and I ended up opening the sock drawer for the first time since April. Of course since then it got hot again but don't tell the socks...
Ode to a sweet reunion
Well, hello socks. It’s been a while hasn’t it? But don’t worry – no longer shall I be gallivanting around town sockless a la Tubbs and Crockett. There is chill is in the air that only brings me closer to you.
For months I’ve been seen everywhere with my feet scantily clad by those racy summertime harlots, my sandals, while sipping on Mojitos and sitting under the breeze of the nearest fan. My lord, how foolish I must have looked, like a middle aged married man drunkenly showing off a young girlfriend in a crowded bar.
At times I thought that summer would last forever. But they never do, do they my dear socks? Your annual re-emergence is proof that time marches on, seasons come and seasons go. Soon the cold weather will strip the blossoms bare and little old me, why I’ll be wrapped up head to toe in woollies, teeth chattering, cursing the depths of winter, praying that it won’t last forever; but let’s not go there just yet, for now the scarves, hats and gloves remain stored away. For now let’s enjoy our sweet, selfish and intimate reunion.
Autumn has arrived and with it a pleasantly cool air. Now like two young student lovers after a long summer apart, we shall go everywhere together, be seen by everyone around this campus people call Hanoi; we shall be inseparable once more. Each morning my feet will slip unto you, like… well, like a hand would unto a glove, but let’s not speak of those distant and lofty relatives of yours, let us speak of us.
I know I have said some foolish things in the past, haven’t we all dear socks. Once I remember declaring it was a joy to be so free and easy in the foot department and how I could live, quite happily, without you forever more.
I admit that my house smelt approximately nine thousand times better with out sweaty-Argyles and malodorous thermals lying around the house, but how can I fault you for my own body’s rank emissions?
You certainly never complained. You soaked it all up and it all came out in the wash (with the kind assistance of my dear housekeeper). Then when the sun broke and the sounds of summer hummed, I callously tied you all up into a giant socktupus (the freeform creation, which occurs when 22 pairs of old socks and a few dozen odd socks become one entity), slid open this drawer and hurled you into the darkness of exile and solitude – with the exception of my old unworn underpants, who have their own brave and chequered history to make peace with.
But you, my dear socks, your summertime hibernation is at an end; we shall dilly-dally no more. From here on out, with the exception of those of you that have too many holes and will be turned into dusters (alas, the sword must outwear its sheath), we shall go a-roving once more!
With the exception of really hot late Autumn days that is.
By Teddy de Burca Jnr.
Ode to a sweet reunion
Well, hello socks. It’s been a while hasn’t it? But don’t worry – no longer shall I be gallivanting around town sockless a la Tubbs and Crockett. There is chill is in the air that only brings me closer to you.
For months I’ve been seen everywhere with my feet scantily clad by those racy summertime harlots, my sandals, while sipping on Mojitos and sitting under the breeze of the nearest fan. My lord, how foolish I must have looked, like a middle aged married man drunkenly showing off a young girlfriend in a crowded bar.
At times I thought that summer would last forever. But they never do, do they my dear socks? Your annual re-emergence is proof that time marches on, seasons come and seasons go. Soon the cold weather will strip the blossoms bare and little old me, why I’ll be wrapped up head to toe in woollies, teeth chattering, cursing the depths of winter, praying that it won’t last forever; but let’s not go there just yet, for now the scarves, hats and gloves remain stored away. For now let’s enjoy our sweet, selfish and intimate reunion.
Autumn has arrived and with it a pleasantly cool air. Now like two young student lovers after a long summer apart, we shall go everywhere together, be seen by everyone around this campus people call Hanoi; we shall be inseparable once more. Each morning my feet will slip unto you, like… well, like a hand would unto a glove, but let’s not speak of those distant and lofty relatives of yours, let us speak of us.
I know I have said some foolish things in the past, haven’t we all dear socks. Once I remember declaring it was a joy to be so free and easy in the foot department and how I could live, quite happily, without you forever more.
I admit that my house smelt approximately nine thousand times better with out sweaty-Argyles and malodorous thermals lying around the house, but how can I fault you for my own body’s rank emissions?
You certainly never complained. You soaked it all up and it all came out in the wash (with the kind assistance of my dear housekeeper). Then when the sun broke and the sounds of summer hummed, I callously tied you all up into a giant socktupus (the freeform creation, which occurs when 22 pairs of old socks and a few dozen odd socks become one entity), slid open this drawer and hurled you into the darkness of exile and solitude – with the exception of my old unworn underpants, who have their own brave and chequered history to make peace with.
But you, my dear socks, your summertime hibernation is at an end; we shall dilly-dally no more. From here on out, with the exception of those of you that have too many holes and will be turned into dusters (alas, the sword must outwear its sheath), we shall go a-roving once more!
With the exception of really hot late Autumn days that is.
By Teddy de Burca Jnr.
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