1) AP Story on Vietnam's exceedingly cashed up consumers: "Members of the new generation want to enjoy life and pamper themselves with luxurious things," said Nguyen Thi Cam Van, 39, who has purchased five $1,000 handbags at Louis Vuitton.

"If I can afford to buy something nice, it makes me feel proud," said Van, who works at Siemens and also consults for a Vietnamese import company. "It lets you show people your taste and style."

One of her friends has 50 Louis Vuitton bags, Van said. "I think five is enough."

Read more on that here.

2) Book:
Everybody's talking about Dang Thuy Tram, again - there's even a Dang Thuy Tram tour.

For those who don't know, she's the doctor who died during the American war, but shot to fame in 2005 after her diaries reemerged after 35 years in a Vietnam vet's possession in the States.

The diaries were published as a single book which is now translated and available for ye overseas folk.

Apparently customers who searched for Last night I dreamed of peace also expressed interest in: Roast Chicken and other stories by Simon Hopkinson,
Like You'd Understand, Anyway: Stories by Jim Shepard while others bought What We Knew: Terror, Mass Murder, And Everyday Life in Nazi Germany by Eric A. Johnson and Restless Virgins: Love, Sex, and Survival at a New England Prep School by Abigail Jones.

Fascinatingly unhelpful marketing by dear auld Amazon.

3) Don't forget - Stylish Nonsense all the way from bangkok live in Hanoi this Saturday

The Minsk Football Club's one match pre-season training was declared satisfactory by still-our-special-one Johnny Cinnamon despite the controversial goal for the opposition that technically meant the game was a draw.

Members of the opposition admitted the ball did not cross the line and in fact came off the cross bar. So it was declared 3 goals to 2.5 win for the Minsk. Check out the match photos and Rastafarian -inspired coloured jerseys here.

"Playing would be easy if your colours were like my dream,
red gold and green, red gold and green."

1) Wheels of fortune

2) Do not forget - this Saturday, Stylish Nonsense, all the way from Bangkok, will be performing in Hanoi. See the post below for more info...

3) Bia Here Now: Also don't forget to review your local bia hoi or your favourite one and send it to Hanoi Bia Hoi. There's one week left for September's review-competition. The winner gets a dinner for two at Highway4. There's 43 reviews already and only several thousand bia hoi left to review. Check the website out to see what's been done. Hai Ba Trung district is heartbreakingly sparse. Latest review - 19c Ngoc Ha double-teamed by Pittstop Works' very-own Yorkie and Dr. Son Tinh, who obviously didn't try the sausages, otherwise he would have mentioned them.

Pittstop approved Special Event...

The future sound of Bangkok...


...on the way to Hanoi

Riding the skytrain in Bangkok reveals a beguiling skyline like nowhere else on earth. Ornate tradition blends with the seemingly futuristic, showing a disorienting disregard for aesthetic conventions.

The Thai capital’s runaway development over the last decade has been matched by the growth of a magpie-like indie music scene, which blends disparate global influences into a colourful and dizzying Siamese whole.

Hanoians who attended the Bear Garden concert last November at CAMA’s old Hang Trong location would have had a taste of this already. Now CAMA are bringing the Bangkok vibes to Hanoi, once again, this time at a unique Nha San venue a few hundred metres from the Gia Lam side of the Chuong Duong Bridge on Saturday September 29.

Making their Hanoi debut will be Stylish Nonsense, one of the longest running Thai indie outfits who encapsulate many of the elements that make up Bangkok’s 21st century pop culture.



Although they cite formative influences from Nirvana and the Smashing Pumpkins to the Charlatans and the Boo Radleys, they seem to have been most profoundly marked by Nintendo Family Computer soundtracks between the years 2529 to 2533 (Buddhist Era).

In their work, these primitive digital melodies combine with vintage analogue equipment and the supremely funky live drumming of Yuthana “June” Kalambaheti. The overall effect is akin to soundtracks for non-existent 70s TV shows careening into 32k game cartridges.

June and his Stylish Nonsense partner Wannarit “Pok” Pongprayoon met as freshman engineering students at Bangkok’s King Mongkut Institute of Technology and started performing together as Meauwer, recording pop-songs inspired by the Charlatans onto 16bit sound cards.



Over time (and with the loss of a third member) Meauwer became Stylish Nonsense. Stylish Nonsense are primarily a live band, having released only one full-length album in nine years. However during that time they have also lugged their collection of analogue keyboards to gigs as far afield as Germany, Japan and Paris.

Asked to name his favorite Stylish Nonsense show, June mentions a Berlin concert during which he was suffering from a serious fever but where the feeling of having nothing to lose pushed the band to take their sound even further out.



Talking to Stylish Nonsense you get the impression that their whole career has been one of constant evolution and searching for new modes of expression. The band bemoan the fact that while the Thai indie scene has grown much larger over the last 10 years, this has not necessarily led to more diversity or experimentation among their peers. Regardless Hanoi locals who want to witness this duo causing a commotion need only cross the bridge over the Red River next Saturday.

By Kjartan Hallibut

Where? Nha San Ben Ho, Bo De, Long Bien, Hanoi – turn right at end of Chuong Duong bridge, drive 400m and turn right again into Bo De street. When? Music starts at 8pm. No excuses for being stylishly late no matter how nonsensical you are. In the meantime, you can check out: www.myspace.com/stylishnonsensebkk

Buffalo head-butting contest

What the ...

Stumbled on this four-month old rapping-podcast on Lonely Planet's website by a young American-chap: The Hanoi hustle.

Kids these days.

Quick Link
The pace of change in Hanoi comes at what cost to 'auld' Hanoi - an AFP story.

Timeout also covered overcrowding in the Old Quarter this week - coincidence!? No such thing - but the link isn't up yet. Come back tomorrow for more on that.

Same planet, different worlds…
When it comes to transport, the ultimate symbol of wealth and luxury on four wheels is undoubtedly the Rolls Royce and Hoang Khai – the man behind Khai Silk – is the proud owner of Vietnam’s first ever Rolls Royce car after splashing out over $600,000. According to the Thanh Nien translation of a Tuoi Tre story, the used, 2006-model Phantom, is a four-door sedan equipped with a 453hp, 6.75-liter cylinder V12 engine and six gears. Quoted on Yahoo at $328,750 it got nailed with import tax, luxury-item tax (a.ka. you’re-filthy-rich-and-can-afford-this-tax), and 10 per cent value-added tax. Several buyers in Ho Chi Minh City were interested but Khai out bid them all offering an undisclosed fee.

Holy moley there's a lot of rich people around in expensive cars. The same hummer keeps on driving past me near Truc Bach lake. A bleeding Hummer? says you. Yes, the High Mobility Multipurpose Wheeled Vehicle is needed to negotiate that bumpy stretch of road by the Sofitel Plaza.

No Hoo woo during peak hours

Mr. Cyclo and his San Souci posse will be forced to work around peak hours for traffic in an attempt to ease congestion in Hanoi. The Hanoi People’s Committee announced that new regulations concerning the brigades of tourist cyclos meant that they’d only serve tourists and wedding ceremonies and must avoid the streets between 6am and 8.30am, 4.30pm to 7pm. Each cyclo can carry one adult and one child. I now eagerly await the first stand off between the proud mother of a groom and his merry-gift-carrying-men on their way to an An hoi (Engagement party) at 9am – Wedding Season starts soon I think. Did you know there are only 300 tourist cyclos drivers with a license to “Hoo-woo!” and the municipal authorities will not license any more, or so says the director of the Hanoi Department of Tourism. The cyclo drivers will have to pedal in formation as well – in groups of five with 50m distance between groups. “We must balance interests. We consider cyclos as a cultural characteristic of Hanoi, which is a vehicle to serve tourists, but the use of cyclos must not affect traffic,” added the director.

Hors d'oeurves

Helmets go like hot cakes
With stricter traffic laws meaning all State employees must wear helmets this month as well as all motorcyclists on national roads, as of September 15, not surprisingly it’s a very good month for people selling ‘rice cookers’. However, demand is currently far higher than supply, so if you’re looking for a new helmet you might find yourself in a bit of a rugby-style scrum this month as thousands scramble for the remaining stock. Of course, wherever there is a strong demand there is a naughty little-so-and-so trying to make a fast buck. Ho Chi Minh City officials have reported that fake or low-quality items are being sold on the market. However the Market Monitoring Agency is on the case and confiscating substandard helmets in the city. One unlicensed shop in Binh Tan district was rumbled selling phony helmets with Honda brand names stuck on the side. Let’s hope the helmet-traders are stocking up on authentic products as demand will only be on the rise as all motorbike drivers (even those of you with pretty hair-dos!) will be forced to wear helmets as of December 15.

No liquids!
At this stage most international travelers will have discovered the joys of having after-shave, perfume, bottles of Evian, wine or perhaps 12-year-old Scotch, confiscated while boarding flights. Security measures mean no liquids are allowed on board most international or domestic flights these days and Vietnam’s Civil Aviation Administration has announced from this October, passengers will not be allow to bring liquid on board all domestic flights – so no bottled water, soft drinks, perfumes and we presume nuoc mam. All items must be checked in as stored luggage. Medication is acceptable, while baby milk and foodstuffs are also allowed. But these bottles must contain no more than 100ml of liquid be carried in clear bottles and contained in a transparent plastic bag. Liquid items bought from duty-free stores at the airport must be put in the sellers’ sealed transparent plastic bags, which must be enclosed with receipt clearly stating the purchased time and location. So be careful if you’re bringing along a fancy bottle of bubbly for your holliers.

From VIR's Timeout: Burning down the house

With the increasing affluence in Vietnam perhaps it’s no small wonder that even votive offerings now cater for the nouveau riche in the next life. Minh Phuong reports...
Now back in the 1980s people would have offered votive money or clothes, which are pretty cheap and simple to make but also conceptually speaking an obvious gesture. Rich families might also have burnt a votive maid when the master of the house died. No one wants to break the habit of a lifetime, even in the next life.
Of course, now that the lives, habits and culture of Vietnamese people are diversifying in the modern world the votive offerings are following suite.
Citizens of the underworld are receiving increasingly sanh dieu (hip) offerings such as fancy cars, stately motorbikes, opulent houses and, to make sure cash is on hand, ATM cards.


Yup, votive money is passé. Now people offer latest electronic goods: Nokia N series mobilephone, a SH motor bike, a laptop, a Plasma TV and an Ipod at prices ranging from VND50,0000 to VND150,000 ($3-$9).

“One night, I dreamt of my father complaining about his car. He asked for a Lexus like his neighbour in the underworld,” says Ngan who owns a silk shop on Hang Gai street. “The following morning, I found the perfect kind, a black Lexus, at the Dong Xuan market. It was a bargain at VND100,0000 ($6.5).”

Georgia, Georgia.... the whole day through
Just an old sweet song keeps Georgia on my mind

The VND14-trillion traffic jam in Saigon. But who's losing the money?!

The Rugby World Cup continues. Another late night watching the Irish struggle to a highly unconvincing win against the stubbly Georgians, who clad in the colours of St. George barged over the Irish line in the closing minutes but fortunately, for us Irish, failed to touchdown. Victory by the skin of our teeth I tell you what. The Georgians probably deserved it on effort and considering it was practically their second team the result is a total embarrassment for the multi-million-euro-spending Irish Rugby Football Union.

But we won and so we live to fight another day – le Vendredi prochain to be exact. But all optimism is now officially vanquished. Like Austin powers sans mojo or a ship without a sail, as well as a engine, rudder, tiller, captain, map or compass... and suddenly the Irish rugby machine is lost at sea.

Currently there's probably only one thing worse than watching the Irish play rugby and that's watching us play football, but thankfully there's no coverage for that here.

It's Rugby World Cup time. Finally.

My beloved homeland stumbled out of the blocks with a laboured win over rugby-minnows Namibia and all optimism - sky high after a fine Six nations - has disappeared as quickly as yoghurt eaten by a man with a really bad case of the runs.

Would be fine if we didn't have to play our arch nemesis of recent years Les Phaps and The masters of the Garyowen-and-grind Argentina. It's like looking down a very dark tunnel and the only chink of light that flickers merely reveals a possible quarter final against Les noirs.

We shall see what happens and we shall not go gently into that good night. But we do really need to make sure auld hairy head (see below) doesn't cripple anyone in green. Ouch.

You may know of Thanh Nien the highly popular Vietnamese newspaper that also has an online English service. It is as of October kick-starting a daily-English-language-printed paper which is a pretty bauld auld move and hats off to the lads and lasses behind it all.

The sole competition is, of course, the VNnews, who have enjoyed a monopoly since day one and must be slightly worried how Thanh Nien English daily turns out.

If TN hits the ground running smoothly we could have a right auld tussle, no doubt spurring both parties on until one day we'll be like those lucky rascals in Thailand trying to choose between the Bangkok Post and the Nation.

By the way if you're a sub editor, Thanh Nien needs you (then so does Vietnam News - meow!).

And onwards, upwards, wayward we go.

Concerning the recent demands of the Metropole and the Sheraton for me to wear shoes rather than sandals and pants rather than shorts to enter their respective establishments perhaps it's not just a recent trend as I suggested.

One Pittstop reader wrote to tell me of an incident concerning a dinner with some out of towners at the Emperor restaurant - a place you only take out-of-towners for a "safe" Spring Roll and Banana Flower Salad – a few years back.

His colleague, an English reporter, a man known to froth at the mouth at the sight or sound of injustice, was informed by the manager that he would have to wear trousers, rather than the shorts, to dine at the Emperor. An argument ensued. The reporter, perhaps only relenting because of the out of towners, stormed off to buy a pair of pants at a shop across the road for VND200,000. He returned, they all sat down, he grumbled a bit, they ordered and the evening resumed normal service...

...until a group of elderly German tourists arrived and were duly seated by the staff without a word despite the fact one of the German gents was clearly wearing shorts (with black socks and sandals) and violating the strict dress code that was applied to the reporter.

Now as I said he was not the sort to stand such an injustice and the manager was duly summoned and the argument re-started. The riled up reporter demanded that the manager ask the German OAP to be denied service or forced out to find some long strides of his own.

The embarrassed manager hummed, then he hawed, and rather than cause a scene with the Germans he acquiesced to the reporter's alternative demand - that the restaurant repay him the VND200,000 he just spent on a crappy pair of pants.

And that's how you stick it to the man!

Dank für die anekdote mein liebes Julian.

A Scot goes to see a man about a dog in Saigon in this article for the AGE (of Australia): In Vietnam, dog meat dinners are generally the preserve of the male of the species, and are, I soon found out, as much a testosterone-infused bonding ritual as canine culinary experience. With much innuendo as he could muster, Hoanh also explained, with accompanying lust-laden growls from Vuong, that eating dog was "good for the man". He demonstrated just how good by a wicked upward thrust of his rigid right forearm that left us in no doubt about the point he was making. Vuong howled in approval.

Read on...

Once I was also told that sweetcorn was "good for the man". In fact I've been told so many things are "good for man" sometimes I wonder what isn't.

A kick in the family jewels, says you.

Dressed to impress...



Now for starters I'd like to qualify my actions, as I am not one for going to the Sheraton's Nutz bar, which is so crazy they need to replace that pedestrian penultimate 'S' and add a more flagrant 'Z' at the end with the panache of that swashbuckling vigilante Zorro - ole! – as if the Z itself was proof that fun was a guarantee within but, you see, I was merely picking up a friend on my way past, honest. So I didn't even want to go in but regardless the security team dressed to the nines with caps, radios, orange batons and badges, stood on a raised step by the door - "My how tall you are this evening gentlemen!" - and said you can't come in wearing shorts. After the incident at the Metropole you'd have to wonder is this the start of a disturbing trend, indeed the beginning of the end. Years from now social historians will look back at the early 21st century and perhaps one will even sift through the blogs of yesteryear and happen upon these sorry moments in the life of the Pittstop Works lone staffer and pinpoint 2007 as the moment where people started getting notions of upperosity in our dear auld Hanoi.

Of course, I pointed out that I didn't intend to start playing tennis inside and several women coming out were plainly parading their legs more so than I, but alas all was lost on the SWAT-team ensemble and I'll be the first to admit my pasty pins ain't so pleasing to the eye.

Anyway, my friend emerged from the guarded-garden and we headed on. Appropriately or inappropriately enough, he told me that it was for the best as inside the bar was a load of pants.

Or perhaps that should be pantz?

Ole!

Pittstop's muckers Dan Dockery of Highway4 and Sarah Clarke of Hanoi Street Food both appeared recently on a Discovery Channel show called Bizarre Foods with an American presenter called Andrew Zimmern.

You can check out Dan who appears in this clip below after Andrew eats at Cha Ca La Vang restaurant, which he pronounces with wonderful French flair - c'est malapropos non?


As you'll see Dan and Andrew nibble on some scorpion, roasted sparrow and most impressively a 32-cm bull's penis with the accompanying cajones grande de toro. Tastes just like lamb shank apparently.

Sarah gets a whole segment to herself, or rather her and street food do... they try a few different dishes, some papaya salad with dried beef, some 'fuh' and some No.2 coffee.



There's another four parts which I haven't watched yet but this link will take you to part one and on the side you can the other segments if yer interested at all.

Excuse me sir, but I don't like the cut of your jib...

Well, here's a first - somebody told me I wasn't dressed appropriately for the first time ever in Vietnam. I've turned up in sandals to embassy dos and bantered with Ambassadors, I've strolled into weddings in jeans DEVIL-MAY-CARE and worn shorts to every bar and restaurant in town, not because I'm some kind of wild maverick who plays by his own rules but because it's really hot and socks are for October to April only with the exception of when I'm playing football, you see. I'm innocent.

But, regardless, my seven-year-streak of casually-dressed derring-do came to end, well nearly, when I went for a fancy pants dinner at the Metropole's Le Beaulieu and after sitting down I was interrupted by a fairly embarrassed waitress (her manager didn't have the bi (Cojones) to do it himself I'd wager) who said that she was sorry, aren't we all for something, but there was a dress code and sandals weren't allowed. I explained that I was just off the plane direct from Bali and had lost my suitcase somewhere along the way. She smiled, not getting the joke, and said as long as I remembered next time then scuttled away, exit stage left. We laughed for a while. The other "gents" at my table had very nearly done the same. One was only in shoes and trousers because he went straight to the bia hoi (pour un ou deux aperitif) after work. The waiter ignored us all night. My friends started to blame the sandals.

Next time I'll throw on the Crocs and really spoil them.

Here's a piece on Vietnam's emerging and increasingly liberal film industry.

Can't help but notice that one film's plot line sounds exactly like Tootsie: The most successful so far is "Two In One," a slapstick comedy about a man impersonating a woman — and falling in love with a real woman who doesn't know he's actually a man.

Need to start writing a few oh-so-subtle remakes of my own methinks.

Ong Mua: An incredibly handsome brother discovers his long lost autistic brother after their dad dies leaving all the cash to the autistic brother. They embark on a road trip to Do Son, but by foot, as the autistic brother won't fly Vietnam Airlines, or take a bus, car, motorbike, any kind of automated vehicle, and there they start to gamble their way to brotherly love.

Hanoi and it's Bia Hoi
Recently set up Hanoi Bia Hoi dot com aims to build a map of bia hoi around Hanoi. A genius idea.

It's only just got going, but there's already a good few bars reviewed. You can click on the flags to read the reviews, but also email off your own tuppence worth of any joints you tipple in. The website will grow accordingly.

The web master gives mucho kudos for any bia hoi that is very cold.

So for you Hanoi-based Pittstop readers your homework this week is to drink more bia hoi and send hanoibiahoi.com a review.

Also, another Pittstop associate who does food tours in Hanoi has her website up and running. Check it out here:

"Hanoi Street Food Tours give you the opportunity to get the inside scoop on where to find the best pho bo, the tastiest bun rieu cua, the freshest nom du du - and more!"

Nothing to see here today folks. I'm wasting my afternoon youtubing, which is not entirely a waste of time when you discover musical gems such as this.



Have a cup of tea (with or without ice depending on your whereabouts) and kick back with Uncle Al.

The Ho Chi Minh Golf Trail?

Yup - it's true. Surprised they're getting away with that as a campaign, domain name.

Certainly none of my business.

Here's a funny/ disturbing story about a man going on the rampage in Danang Airport with two swords after he was told not to park in the no-parking zone. Turns out he's got connections so everyone says he'll get off but I think he'll do well to worm his way out that pickle.

The local press aren't so sure: ...skepticism is widespread as many feel that M. had already escaped justice after another notorious rampage seven years ago in a Binh Duong karaoke shop. At the time, M. was accused of firing his gun at a waitress at the karaoke bar after she refused to “go out” with him. Though M.apparently missed his target, subsequent police reports confirmed four used bullet shells were found in the karaoke room.

Sounds like a right nutbag. But luckily my father, Teddy de Burca Snr., always did warn me, never trust a man who drives around with two swords in the trunk.

Whatever happened to Queensbury rules?

Someone said the words "Autumn's on the way" today. People just love proclaiming a new season and trip over themselves to be first. Of course, Autumn is just a second summer for the likes of me who have been genetically engineered to live in wet, boggy fields. For the record, the person who said this was wearing shorts and sandals.

Methinks the sweat will still be dripping, the ca phe will still have da and the sock drawer will remain untouched for sometime yet. As for long-sleeved tops and jeans, might be time just to let the mildew breathe a little - but there's no rush there either.

Which reminds me last time I was in Ho Chi Minh City, where the summer really does last forever, I passed a woolly jumper and hat shop. Of course, those heading north need to wool-up before boarding the plane, but still it's kinda like spotting a Bermuda shorts shop in Siberia. The sales assistant was alone in the shop and looked utterly miserable.

"A woolly hat shop in Saigon, what was I thinking?"

Here's a little something for a Tuesday afternoon on Vietnam's shifting perspectives on history.

Those interested in revisionism will love it.

There's a Letter from ...

...Hanoi in the Guardian weekly by yours truly which may give devoted Pittstop subscribers a fleeting bout of deja vu.

It's in an adobe programme. Just put your finger on the alt key and drag it around. Click on the text to zoom in.

All together now – Intimacy at the traffic lights
I’ve always thought there’s a funny intimacy to the traffic in Hanoi, and I suppose Ho Chi Minh City can’t be too different. Such the volume of motorbikes when you pull up to the traffic lights (all the rage these days), everyone is huddled together en masse, waiting, in most cases impatiently, for the lights to change. And there we all are, together, for more than a moment, less than a minute. The smell of shampooed hairdos, the whiff of a high-noon bia hoi session, a fragrantly scented businessman, or businesswoman – all these scents mingle with the fumes. You glance around. You may or may not see a hip 15-year old on his father’s bike with two friends on the pillion, a gaggle of giggly girls on bicycles, a bunch of sun-kissed labourers, young glamorous couples on fancy-pants motorbikes, delivery boys encased on their own bike by eight crates of beer, a young woman holding her bicycle loaded with Bat Trang pottery upright, as well as the off-to-works, the won’t-works and usually at least one old bespectacled man with a pith helmet who judging by his incessant beeps doesn’t quite get the concept of red lights.
At traffic lights over the years, people have reached out and shook my hand, pulled the hair on my arms, deconstructed my wardrobe, tried to sell me a loaf of bread, informed me my kickstand was down; men have grinned, chic women have played coy, children have stared, smiled, laughed and wailed at me.
While waiting for red to go green, if you’re wondering what time it is, there’s plenty of folk around to ask, you can also practice your listening skills by eavesdropping on conversations around you, or if you’re feeling chipper, why not try to get a bit of impromptu banter going on yourself? Just friends you haven’t met, right? Other bonuses of static traffic are asking for directions, blowing kisses at ravishing strangers and bumping into old friends, on the minus side, there’s all that passive smoking, which reminds me I must get around to inventing the ashtray for motorbikes, which will make me a dong-millionaire one day.
Of course, no one wants to linger, you may have broken the ice and the prospect of a friendship may have flickered in your heart, but inevitably the traffic lights go green, the body of traffic lurches forward, horns blare at the stragglers, ‘di di’, forwards, onwards, away, if you don’t drive fast enough 70 metres down the road you’ll miss the green lights, then a man will pull up beside you, reach out and pull the hair on your arm. He won’t speak, but he will smile, and his eyes will say, “Remember me?”

Well, Iraq did it... they won the ASIAN cup

Reaction on the streets from the Guardian

"In 90 minutes, 11 men on a soccer pitch thousands of miles away have made millions of Iraqis happy while 250 MPs, our government, the mullahs, imams and warlords can't provide us with a single smile. I hope this is a turning point for our country," said one fan.

Great stuff. The team comprising Kurds, Sunnis, Shias and Turkomans have overcome kidnap threats, the murder of loved ones, and disruptions to their training schedules and had to train in Syria and Jordan pre-tournament.

Hats off lads.

Hanoi oi
This fellow was just getting warmed up on tourism in Hanoi, I thought, then the article just ended.

Oh well. Iraq vs Saudi tonight. The world will be at least following the score, if not watching. So the Asian Cup got it's "coming out" coverage in the end. Sadly not for the football.

A story circulated rapidly around Hanoi yesterday that the Saudi Arabian football team, who were here for the Asian Cup semi final, had caused a bit of a brouhaha in the Sheraton Hotel after walking in en masse to the ladies changing rooms, in the gym or sauna area I presume. A long silent stand off apparently ensued with the exception of one American lady, who screamed herself lobster red, until "Je suis le Concierge" led the naughty boys away to the gents' facilities.

Of course, here at Pittstop Works, we never start rumours, we just spread them.

From Mrs. Pittstop, this vid is pretty buon cuoi. Probably doing the rounds, it's "around 1,000 inmates from a prison in Cebu, Philippines performing the music video Thriller của Whacko Jacko himself.

Iraqi-Saudi final: The country formerly known as Iraq are into the final of the Asian Cup where they'll be taking on the Saudis, who won a cracker against Japan, 3-2, played at My Dinh stadium in Hanoi.


Let's get metaphysical: Speaking of Iraq, it "isn't Vietnam" but is Vietnam the new Spain?

Glad that's finally been sorted out but can the comparisons end now please? You're killing our google searches.

Completely forgot to post this last week, Vietnam are now out of the cup, the mood is gone, life goes on, and now the closing punchline doesn't really hold true, but still, anyway, here's Teddy's pitch side version of the Vietnam-Japan game last week.


The invincibles
We arrive early for the game at My Dinh Stadium and decide to join a few merry men at a nearby bia hoi. With the temperature in the mid-30s it’s thirsty work just sitting here knocking back beers.

Most of our crew is dressed in Vietnam-jerseys so we’re instantly inducted into the circle of trust, where it’s customary to clink glasses every twenty seconds and take turns shouting Viet Nam Vo Dich (Vietnam’s invincible). We slug down more beers with water chasers until it’s time to slip away with the crowd which is heading en masse towards the stadium.

There’s an intoxicating buzz in the air. The Red and Gold-clad army of Vietnam fans are pumped up. We shuffle through the gates and run for the stands. The whistle blows as I try to find my seat. A fairly laissez faire approach has been taken to where people actually sit. As it happens my seat hasn’t been taken.

I settle down then seemingly seconds later I’m standing, then jumping, then embracing Tuan Anh – though I don’t find out his name until a few minutes later – the spectator beside me. Vietnam has scored, or rather Japan has, but rather obligingly into their own net. The stadium goes bananas. The crowd is hungry for more, the team surges forward but the Japanese team soaks up the pressure. These players are seasoned pros. Big league players who’ve graced the World Cup. They don’t panic that they’re one down. They spread it around at the back. Sizing up their opponents, probing for spaces until eventually as cool as you like a fluid move from one side of the pitch to the other then back again sees Japan equalise. The crowd’s defiant cheers dissipate.

As the half goes on Japan’s dominance grows. A well taken free kick puts them in front. By half time the Vietnamese team has completely lost its mojo. The crowd, too. Tuan Anh slumps in his chair at the break and phones his father, who tells him more heartbreaking news. In the other game in Vietnam’s Group, Qatar is winning one nil against UAE. This means Vietnam, as it stands, is out of the tournament. The score comes up on the electronic board and 40,000 people cry in collective despair.

Now Vietnam has to come back. So when the team returns the crowd is back on its feet and everyone is screaming their heads off.

The Vietnamese start well but once again the Japanese side seems that bit cooler on the ball. A slick sequence of passes by Japan sees play move from one end to the other and the ball is curled into the top corner of the net. Not long afterwards, a fourth goal is scored by the Japanese team and it’s sayonara to the hosts. The Vietnamese now face immediate elimination. The team is now floundering. The fans moan about players’ lack of movement. A woman asks aloud is it going to rain as the clouds go dark and ominous. An early exit is on the cards. Her husband pulls long and hard on his cigarette and says nothing.

Then just when it seems all is lost a sudden shout from one section of the crowd sparks interest from everyone. Mobile phones are whipped out in unison. Frantic calls are made. Another section of the crowd roars. Then someone near us shouts out, “UAE have equalised!”

Everyone is embracing again. It’s not as good as a three goal comeback followed by an outrageous injury time winner would have been but it’ll do nicely. Somewhere on the pitch star striker Le Cong Vinh chases down a ball but no one is watching. The network’s jammed with nervous fans calling for constant updates. Japan comes close to adding a fifth. Vietnam’s manager Riedl throws on a few subs for tired legs but perhaps also with a potential quarter final in mind.

Again another section of the crowd bursts into rapture. Someone near us shouts out UAE is winning 2-1 and howls of delight ring out all around us. An Englishman dressed in Vietnam colours leads a chant of “U - A - E! U - A - E!” and thousands join in. Someone, somewhere is even playing a trumpet. A fiesta has begun.

A couple of minutes later Tuan Anh gets through to his father who says UAE didn’t score again. It’s still 1-1. Vietnam’s fate is still in the balance. Tuan Anh informs everyone around him and a hundred eyes screw through him. He sits down out of view. Don’t shoot the messenger.

An eternity passes over the next 10 minutes, the forgotten game in front of our eyes in Vietnam’s national stadium finally ends, the winning team gathers in the corner and bows before the applause of their fans.

But no one from Vietnam is going home quite yet. Thousands remain seated waiting for the final whistle from Ho Chi Minh City. Dark clouds rumble over head. Eventually the Vietnam players on the far side jump up in the air. The cries of “U - A - E!” start up again. No one knows what UAE stands for, no one cares, tonight they are the toast of Vietnam. A sea of screaming fans floods out to begin the celebrations on the streets of the capital. Outclassed on the pitch but still proudly in the tournament – I should have known, Vietnam’s invincible.


By Teddy de Burca Jnr

Japanese are bored and restless says Andrew Mitchell in Hanoi...

"I think it was Rolling Stones drummer Charlie Watts who said that touring was 5 percent rock 'n' roll and 95 percent waiting around. Team Japan can certainly sympathize after three weeks on the road in Vietnam.

Life is so dull for the players at their hideaway at the Sheraton Hotel that bath salts have become the be-all and end-all of entertainment for the team, according to ace midfielder Shunsuke Nakamura."

Meanwhile the poor reporter who wrote the article discovered the joys of the taxi du (parachute taxi). Not sure why its called taxi du, but it means a taxi with a dodgy meter.

HOLY MOLEY - IT'S A WORLD EXCLUSIVE FOR PITTSTOP WORKS
Pittstop Work's associate Mrs. Loan Symons ran into the Australian international, misser and also creator of crucial penalties, Lucas Neil at the Nutz Bar in the Sheraton Hotel where the "shockeroos" were staying and no doubt drowning their sorrows, tears in everyone's beers, after being dumped out of the Asian Cup by the Japanese.



















And here a Pittstop World Exclusive is the word for word transcription of that historic meeting where Lucas discovered the joys of Vietnamese tact on touchy subjects.

Loan: Hello
Lucas: G'day
Loan: Were you one of the people who missed a penalty?
Lucas: Yes
Loan: Are you the famous one, or the other one
Lucas: I'm the other one
Loan: Oh, so where's the famous one?
Lucas: I think Harry's upset, he's staying in.
Loan: So your team is like Vietnam. You are losers.
Lucas: (Inaudible grunt)
Loan: Can you smile for the camera?
Lucas: Sure (smiles, evidence above)
Loan: Thanks...why aren't you dancing?


Good man yourself Lucas for being game for a laugh. Cheers to Johnny for the pic and dialogue. Plus check out the doctor's photos of the Asian Cup games in Hanoi.

Size does matter boys
Well, Vietnam are out. A two goal loss to Iraq. A game they never came close to winning, though they certainly weren't taken apart, it was incredibly frustrating to watch how they played - i.e. aimlessly. Fair play mind, the Iraqis showed a fine deft touch and both goals were excellent. It's a story in the making. Now they face the Saudis or the might of Uzbekistan in the semis (not bad as they avoid the big guns, Korea and Japan). Hope they go all the way. Inshallah.

The coach Riedl says Vietnam's diminutive players just can't compete against the big boys of football: "The problem we have is we are just too small," he said, in this Reuters story). "Playing in Southeast Asia we can be successful, but we struggle in the rest of Asia because we are too small and this is a big problem.

But he always says this/ that.

Anyhoo, this ends Pittstop Works' tireless coverage of the event - till the next Asian Cup my friends! Viet Nam vo dich!

'Arry on football
Well - there you have it. The Aussies down to ten men against Japan, somehow hold on for penalties then blow it immediately with Harry "history will ultimately deem me a failure" Kewell missing despite wearing white shoes and walking to the penalty spot while doing keepie-uppies.

Time to head to the Sheraton hotel and set up the honey trap for Harry & Co. as they drown their sorrows with pints of Tiger.

Mrs. Pittstop is lost to another Harry - that infernal boy-wizard. Book was available as of 8am here in sync with the world.

Vietnam now on (and immediately losing) against the country formerly known as Iraq.

VINA-LAS VEGAS
Do people from this part of the world have a natural knack for cards?

Story on a Canuck-Vietnamese fella finishing second at the World Poker championships...
"He left Vietnam penniless, but poker made him a millionaire..." Rags to riches I tell you what.

... but funnily enough he was pipped to the post by Jerry Yang, a 39-year-old US psychologist who grew up in Laos of all places.

Bad day for a White Wedding

The other day at My Dinh stadium for the Vietnam vs Japan game, I overheard someone say "Tai Em (he's a midfielder for Vietnam) chan roi vi sap lay vo" (he's fed up because he's getting married soon). He was playing shite and I thought the fan was blaming the prospect of marriage for getting the player so down.

Turns out he made a bit of a boo-boo on his wedding dates: "Vietnam's Phan Van Tai Em is in coach Alfred Riedl's bad books after arranging his wedding party for the same day as their Asian Cup quarter-final against Iraq." Oh dear.
Read more here.

Minsk FC's player profiles
Didn't realise this was up on the Highway4 site.

Good pic of Lieutenant Wharf tackling someone about a third his size here (at the Thac Da rally) as well.