'Arry on football
Well - there you have it. The Aussies down to ten men against Japan, somehow hold on for penalties then blow it immediately with Harry "history will ultimately deem me a failure" Kewell missing despite wearing white shoes and walking to the penalty spot while doing keepie-uppies.

Time to head to the Sheraton hotel and set up the honey trap for Harry & Co. as they drown their sorrows with pints of Tiger.

Mrs. Pittstop is lost to another Harry - that infernal boy-wizard. Book was available as of 8am here in sync with the world.

Vietnam now on (and immediately losing) against the country formerly known as Iraq.